The First Year

The Bible requires time for adjustment at the very beginning of marriage so that love can grow quietly before the tornado of life sucks everyone into its orbit. "When a man takes a new wife, he shall be deferred from military duty, he shall not be charged with any business, he shall be free for his house one year, and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken" (Deuteronomy 24:5).

The purpose of this requirement was to free the husband from complex psychological concerns, which might divert his mind from the house the couple must build and the adjustment they must make. We should not dismiss this idea as an anachronism. This couple represents the survival of the Jewish people. Broken families will generate a broken people. Whatever obstacles can be avoided must be removed by the law. "Stay home," it says. "Learn to live together before you learn to live with others."