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Three things you must know to be an adult:

• Don’t fool yourself.

• Don’t fool others.

• Don’t let others fool you.

—and do it all without trying to impress anybody.

Rabbi Shalom DovBer of Lubavitch, to his son before his bar mitzvah. Sefer HaSichot 5704, page 36.

By Tzvi Freeman
From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory; words and condensation by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. Subscribe and get your dose daily. Or order Rabbi Freeman’s book, Bringing Heaven Down to Earth, click here.
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Lisa Providence, RI April 30, 2013

Adulthood Good pieces of advice Reply

Anonymous w November 3, 2011

tough assignment it's tough to spot a con/confidence man. Unforunately one of our own is the best example of the con man. Madoff. He even ' did ' his family. He isn't even remorseful. Ultimate con man. It was sport to him. He exceleld at it.

It would be great if the " Occupy " movement focused in and fought corporate greed and tax evasion, and also government extravagance and corruption. It's all one thing: theft. It's personal. They are robbing us. Shout out the slogan " If you spot them, stop them ! " Or back to " I'm mad as Hell and i'm not going to take it anymore ! " If only we could get the cops and military on our side, i think that we could force change, improve economic equality. No more tax havens. No more bridges to nowhere. Sure there are a 100 other issues, but IMHO, money is the best place to start. If we get that going, brotherly love will fall into place, even if offenders are kicking and screaming foul. Won't this bring the time of Moshiach closer ? Reply

Nancy Duong Foredt Hills, NY/USA November 2, 2011

Adulthood Dear Rabbi,
I like the devotion so much that I already post it on my wall of Facebook! Reply

Chabad person New York, NY November 2, 2011

dov ber's list Dov Ber, I love your list!!
I think this should be posted on everyone's fridge -
if we could get this list adhered to it would be incredible!!!!
I have visited many homes/places and have an issue with the condition of the kitchen/bathrooms. I find that I can't wait to leave, and it's not because of the company, it's the level of cleanliness. Thanks for validating me!! Reply

Chanoch Brown Miami Beach, FL November 2, 2011

Adulthood Does one need to be adulterated to transfer from childlike to adult?
Is there a reason why the teaching is to be as a child?
Retain the child like characteristics without abandoning the positive aspects.
Do not become adulterated.
Shabbat Shalom Reply

chavie January 4, 2009

The rebbe maharash says;
You can't fool G-d
and you can't fool other people
the only one you can fool is yourself
and what is the achievement in fooling a fool? Reply

Dov Ber Arlosoroff January 2, 2009

Without fooling anyone or trying to impress anybody, a person might still honestly fail at any of the following adult requirements:

Take responsibility. Get the job done and do it well. Earn a living. Do the adult mitzvos.
Marry and have children and be faithful.
Do the following daily: Wash the face. Wash the places where the limbs meet the body and use a deodorant. Floss the teeth. Wash the hair regularly. Eat healthy foods. Trim or file fingernails regularly. Keep the clothes clean and hang them up at night. Eat without getting food on the clothes or floor. If you make a mess in the workshop or in the kitchen or anywhere, clean up after yourself. Leave any place you have been in the condition you would like to find it. Keep your living quarters, including the grass outside, neat and fit for guests, esp. on Shabbos and festivals. Give charity, esp. before Shabbos & holidays. Keep learning more Torah, more songs, more prayers.

And I'll bet you can think of more. Reply