A Joyous Divorce
Midrash Rabbah, Shir HaShirim 1
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A woman was married for many years to her husband, but had not had children. Her husband decided to divorce her, so he went to Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, of blessed memory.
Rabbi Shimon told him that just as they celebrated with joy their mutual bond when they got married, so should the severance of their mutual bond be celebrated in joy.
The husband therefore prepared a great feast, at the height of which he called his wife and asked her in his joy to choose whatever she desired of his possessions to be hers, and said that he would not refuse her anything.
What did she do? She served him so much wine that he got drunk and fell asleep on his bed. She then told her servant to take him on his bed into her bedroom in her father's house.
The following morning, when he awoke and found himself in his wife's home, he asked her why he was brought there -- wasn't it clear that he intended to divorce her? She replied, "Didn't you tell me that I could take whatever I wanted? I desire not gold, nor silver, nor precious gems, nor pearls. All I want is you. You yourself are the sole object of my desire."
When the husband heard this, he became once again enamored of his wife, and took her back as before. And in this merit, the Holy One, blessed be He, granted them children.
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Latest Comments:
As a divorce attorney, as well as having gone through a divorce myself, I found this story to be absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I am going to share it with all my new clients. Sure its not a way to make money, but I approach my practice with the idea that the money isnt everything. I have done things that have actually saved a few marriages since I started my practice. I agree with the anonymous poster from Brooklyn--I too live with the guilt of depriving our daughters of a home with 2 loving parents. But in the past two years I have done everything I can to make amends with their mom and to at least give them two parents who have become good friends (not to mention that we only live 2 miles apart) . We now do many things together as a family and I am hoping that this year, for the first time since 1999, we will all be together for the Passover Seder.
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Anonymous, you have spoken my soul. Every day I think about my poor son and daughter-to-be (adoption begun long before the divorce) and how the hateful, oppositional nightmare that my once loving wife became even as I struggled to succeed in a new career in the city of her choosing has rent their lives asunder, hers before she even knows what she has lost. To his credit, my son says, "It's OK, Daddy, at least Mama doesn't yell at you anymore."
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I truly was touched by this article. I wish all people who contemplate divorce would read this, and examine if the reasons that they want to split up are truly valid. And it is touching that people who are having problems conceiving are not breaking up, just because there are provsions for this in the Torah.
Also, I am divorced for other reasons, but as I pursue shidduch prospects, and I hear the terrible reasons given by the divorced men why they are divorced, I see that the reasons for my divorce are superfical in comparsion. And despite the hard work that I have done to save it, I feel bad that things that could be easily worked on, if my ex husband would have worked with me, and not against me- maybe we could have saved our 13 year marriage, and not destroyed the life, that we shared with our precious son! We truly deprived our son from having 2 loving parents raise him. I live with this guilt everyday. But I could not save a marriage alone!
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