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Why Do Jews Exclude Other People?

Why Do Jews Exclude Other People?



I've been asking this from everybody and I can't get an answer: Why do Jews exclude other people? My fiance's parents told me that for a Jew to marry a non-Jew and have children is worse than the Holocaust! I don't get it. Am I really that terrible? In a world with 6 billion people, what kind of G-d is the Jewish G-d, who chose a tiny percentage of the population of the world and left the rest without G-d's mercy?

I don't think I have to mention that I'm not a Jew myself, but I am in a relationship with a Jew, and I want to know more. I want to understand, because right now, I have big problems finding acceptance and respect for Judaism, which of course causes problems in our relationship. I could ask him, but I would rather ask a rabbi, since I expect you to have deeper knowledge than my boyfriend.

Hope to hear from you soon.


I'm glad you were persistent in asking your question, and I'm glad you've given us a chance to answer.

First, please keep in mind that I didn't make any of the statements you are citing. Start reading fresh, like we've never discussed this before. Because, we haven't.

I'm sure you understand that every creature G-d has made on this planet wishes to survive. Not just each individual critter wants to go on living, but the mothers want to see their children survive and those children want to see their children survive and so on. In other words, each species wants to endure and survive.

We Jewish people also want to survive. We are a tiny portion of the 6 billion you mentioned. We've been around for almost four thousand years. At times, we made up more than 10% of the world. At other times, much less. Right now, we're less than a quarter of a percent.

Each people makes their contribution to humanity -- inventions, ideas, wisdom, music, art, culture. As a people, we've made many important contributions to the rest of the world. Such as monotheism, the value of human life, equality before the law, the concept of world peace. All these and many other ideas that are central to our society today find their source in the Bible and the other traditions of the Jewish people. Since Biblical times, we have made many more contributions to the societies in which we lived, whether in ethics, in philosophy, in medicine, in the name it. So it would make sense that the other nations of the world, as well, would want us to survive.

Do we claim superiority? I don't think so. Christians and Muslims both attest to the truth of the Biblical account, where we were picked out by G-d to perform a mission -- to be a light unto the nations. We contend that G-d never changed His mind. And, as anyone can see, we've accomplished much of that mission. Most of the ethics we were charged to teach have been accepted by most of the world. Maybe they haven't put it all into action -- but they will, and we believe that time will come very soon.

Do we exclude others? Absolutely not. Any person who wishes to join the Jewish people and their holy mission is welcome, regardless of race, color, sex or family background. We only ask that they commit to keeping the rules G-d gave us, just as the Jewish people accepted those rules when they received the Torah at Mount Sinai some 3300 years ago. And if they opt not to join, we believe that the righteous people among the nations will share in the rewards of the time to come. I don't know of any other religion so liberal as to say such a thing: You don't have to join us, you don't have to do the things we do, just believe in one G-d and fulfill the basic requirements of every human being to society, and you're in.

So what's so terrible about us wanting to survive? Obviously, we aren't going to survive if we intermarry with everyone else and raise our kids as just a muddle of everything. Our only route to survival is for Jewish people to marry Jewish people and bring their kids up as good Jews.

Of course, if a girl from a non-Jewish family decides she wants to join the Jewish people, well, what's stopping her? But we don't push that sort of thing, because, first of all, we're not out to push our thing on others. You can be a righteous non-Jew and be loved by G-d, so why should we push you down a path you weren't born into? You may well resent it later on -- as often happens -- and that doesn't make for a good marriage. And, secondly, some people become Jewish just for the sake of marriage, and then once they're married, the whole thing is dropped. Which means we have to be a little scrutinous about accepting converts, to be sure they're doing this because they truly want to.

I hope this explains things a little for you. If you still can't swallow it, please write me back.

I wish you all the wonderful things your life has in store, not one should go missing.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, a senior editor at, also heads our Ask The Rabbi team. He is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth. To subscribe to regular updates of Rabbi Freeman's writing, visit Freeman Files subscription.
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Discussion (533)
October 20, 2014
what do Jewish people believe in that others don't
October 13, 2014
RE: In the Jim Crow South, this type of reasoning was standard on the part of the white Christians; they didn't want their kids to be "mutts," aka "a muddle of everything" either.

If you are not White you can't become White, but if you are not Jewish you can become Jewish by converting regardless of your color or race. There is a difference. I have a White Jewish girl friend and she said her mother did not care if she married a Black man as long as he was Jewish.
October 11, 2014
So you only push your children against their will like many others do....mmm It's so easy to understand then, that conflicts will always arise if every group force their own people to stay in a place they didnt chose. Why then in science dont you make experiments with your own people or inslave your own people too.
October 7, 2014
Why Do Jews Exclude Other People?
I once heard of parents who sat shiva for their daughter because she married a non-Jew. Yes, intermarriage is prohibited in the Torah, but I find this kind of behavior most disturbing. In essence it is a form of racism. It would be like opposing a marriage between people of different races. Perhaps some of you would find this unacceptable too. If so, this is sad because it denies us the notion that we are all part of the human family. According to the Torah there was only one creation. The story of Adam and Eve tells us that all people originated from the same ancestors. We are all related, Jew and non-Jew. Until the world realizes the unity of mankind and embraces the idea that we humans are a family, we will continue to have conflict.
September 25, 2014
Sadly rabbi it's none of your or anyone else's business who people fall in love with. It's attitudes like these which are why jews get stereotyped.
September 25, 2014
Most Jews Are Not Descended From The Israelites
It is my understanding that the Ashkenazi Jews are of European heritage. I have heard that they are descended from a group of people who converted in the eighth century. Is this true?
September 20, 2014
RE: " Obviously, we aren't going to survive if we intermarry with everyone else and raise our kids as just a muddle of everything. Our only route to survival is for Jewish people to marry Jewish people and bring their kids up as good Jews."

In the Jim Crow South, this type of reasoning was standard on the part of the white Christians; they didn't want their kids to be "mutts," aka "a muddle of everything" either.
Oscar Shank
August 29, 2014
A Great Game Between God and Devil On the Price of Human beings
Thanks Freeman for guideline. Here is some confusion that life according to me is due to the following:
Obviously it seems like an accidental duel between God and Devil as the books tell us. Suppose it's so, then how did the Devil dare to challenge God as he was aware of his unchallengeable strength? To an ethiest won't it mean that Devil is also a great anti-power who has the capability to challenge God? Has the Devil any weak points of him and wants t blackmail God (nawuzubillah!) ? If not so then the world doesn't seem like secret deal between the two and as a credit God will reward him for the task assigned and the hatred role he plays because we and everybody hates him as he is our combined enemy. Why didn't God give protection to Adam in the Heavens against the devil? Why didn't he tell him that Devil is your enemy and if you ate that forbidden fruit I will punish you? Why didn't God stop Devil of entering the Eden and giving punishment instead of authorising over Adam
August 28, 2014
Imran! You, like too many bigots, are not willing to understand the meaning of choosen! Unlike the common meaning of privlidged!, in this context it means given added responsibility, the hope of being a role model to the world! The Bible relates The Hebrews were not the first to be asked to follow G-d's mandates! The Hebrews agreed! No good non Jew is denied anything! It is the Jews who are denied if they do not comply with the contract they made ! Good people no matter of what religion, or not, are treated better than the " choosen" people. It is the hatred and misdeeds of others, not their good behaviors that determin their destinies! Jews are, and have never been able to totally live up to the task required of them, the world has made it that much harder for them to achieve their wordly goals! Peace comes to all, when that has happened! The present state of world affairs is man's choice to follow Satan, and not G-d!! It is clear that ISIS has choosen the evil path!
August 27, 2014
Hi my name is imran and I am from Swat pakistan. To be frank the tribe I belong to is traced back to the branch of expelled jews obviously Banuchadnazr of Babylonya. Then our foreparents accepted islam. My tribe name is pakhtoons also mentioned in the bible with the name of Tribe of Pakhts.. we still have peoples names like khyber, israel and Binyamin etc. I studied the bible 16 years before. To date there is a last remaining jew in kabul Afghanistan. Now my question is that why do the jews think that they are the only people that God has chosen among billion of people? Why will they be awarded the paradise and the non jewsish the punishment of hell despite if a non jewish passes his life better than a jew and serve the mankind. If
God really loves them thrn are they so less in number? Why doesn't he increase their number? Why did he keep them without a country for more than 3000 years? Wherever they went, were expelled with blames and shame due to their conspiracies?
dammam ksa
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