Question:
I have decided that my only true friend is my dog. People have caused me so much hurt, but my dog has remained loyal. I am giving up on humans. Why can't I find a man as loyal as my dog?
Answer:
I understand your desire to withdraw from human contact. Human relationships
are complex and often painful. Whenever you put your heart out for someone, the
risk of being hurt is high. The more intimate the relationship, the higher the
risk.
An animal's friendship is certainly safer. Animals are accepting. They don't
change. They are for the most part predictable and dependable. They are easily
controlled. Unless you get bitten or physically attacked, you won't get hurt in
a relationship with an animal.
But you also will never be challenged. With an animal, you will never have to
question yourself, improve your ways, apologize. Your dog makes no demands on
your personality. You can be as stubborn and inflexible as he is. This is not
good for you. When animal companionships replace human contact, only the animal benefits. The human stagnates.
your pet is not your partner
In intimate human relationships, we are called upon to change and grow and
develop with our partner. We can't control each other, nor can we predict each
other's moods. We have to be ready to go out of ourselves and address the
emotional needs of another. And as those needs change, we must adjust with them.
Through sharing a life, making each other happy, and even sometimes hurting each
other, we learn about ourselves and grow as a person. Our partner becomes like a
mirror. A dog can't do that.
Don't give up on human beings. Your dog has found a wonderful one. You will too.
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