Can a Pet be "Family"? - Learning & Values

Question:

I have decided that my only true friend is my dog. People have caused me so much hurt, but my dog has remained loyal. I am giving up on humans. Why can't I find a man as loyal as my dog?

Answer:

I understand your desire to withdraw from human contact. Human relationships are complex and often painful. Whenever you put your heart out for someone, the risk of being hurt is high. The more intimate the relationship, the higher the risk.

An animal's friendship is certainly safer. Animals are accepting. They don't change. They are for the most part predictable and dependable. They are easily controlled. Unless you get bitten or physically attacked, you won't get hurt in a relationship with an animal.

But you also will never be challenged. With an animal, you will never have to question yourself, improve your ways, apologize. Your dog makes no demands on your personality. You can be as stubborn and inflexible as he is. This is not good for you. When animal companionships replace human contact, only the animal benefits. The human stagnates.

your pet is not your partner In intimate human relationships, we are called upon to change and grow and develop with our partner. We can't control each other, nor can we predict each other's moods. We have to be ready to go out of ourselves and address the emotional needs of another. And as those needs change, we must adjust with them. Through sharing a life, making each other happy, and even sometimes hurting each other, we learn about ourselves and grow as a person. Our partner becomes like a mirror. A dog can't do that.

Don't give up on human beings. Your dog has found a wonderful one. You will too.

By Aron Moss

Rabbi Aron Moss teaches Kabbalah, Talmud and practical Judaism in Sydney, Australia, and is a frequent contributor to Chabad.org.

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August 27, 2011

my angels

I have borderline disorder and social anxiety disorder. Both make human relationships all but intolerable.
While I recognize that I am the one with the problem, I must point out that people are cruel. I can't tell you how many times people have made comments about me belonging in a " nuthouse".
My cats are at times the only ones I can count on to love me no matter how angry I get. They always accept my apology and make me want to be a better person. I wish I could say that for the humans I know.

Victoria McKee
Boise, Idaho

July 22, 2011

Yahrzeit for a Pet?

Is there anything "un-kosher" about lighting a yahrzeit in memory of a beloved pet?

Anonymous
New York, NY

July 21, 2011

re: 17th tammuz

yes All died for different reasons, and is the same vet who took care of all animals. still he did not found a pattern. :S I just wondered maybe an spiritual reason is causing this.

Nahomi
ca

July 20, 2011

re 17th Tammuz...

I am sorry read of your losses and such painful timing. Have you consulted your vet about their deaths? Since a pattern is emerging... your vet would be able to help you sort out the clues to determine what is going on.

Anonymous
Blue Ash, oh

July 19, 2011

17th tammuz (2011)

Believe or not today my cat and dog are dead, 2 years ago in the 9 of Av my chihuahua died, I trully believe this is a nightmare I went to the dog house and there he was a cute german shepard pup of 9 months dead. I wonder why?? why, my pets die every 2 or one year apart always in 9 of Av or like today on the 17th Tammuz.

I am so sad.

Nahomi
ca, 92143

February 22, 2011

pet

I am very touched by articles and responses. We also just lost our dear pet. I felt lot of love from him, and even people who were guests at our home told us that we have a very special dog. He gives us so many of wonderful memories. It is my opportunity to say now that a blessing can come in many forms, and one of a wonderful dog Bobby that we had. May his soul rest in peace.

Dina

June 3, 2010

Love of Pets

My beloved older chihuahua, who had completely devoted herself to me during my brain bleed recovery, went missing from inside our home - we think she was stolen from us. I was broken and devastated as she was such a dear part of my heart and new daily life, as she loved me unconditionally, despite my new handicaps. I began studying Torah for understanding, and was led to Creation verses as I was sitting in my yard. To my amazement, tiny, perfect baby rabbits began rolling out of the fields! G-d our Creator was at work! He also had another surprise for my brokenness. A few months later I was blessed with 3 puppies I delivered myself. The third pup was an EXACT replica of my beloved Lena, a tiny black and tan miracle. When I opened the birth sack, I was incredulous to see this tiny perfect replica, sent to me by my Loving Creator! I named them Phoebe, Jude and the miracle one is named Heavensent Tippytoes! Praise Be to our Father in Heaven who hears our cries and heals our broken hearts.

Anonymous
Hillsborough, NC

June 19, 2009

pets are family too

I agree that pets are not on the same level as humans, and would have given up my cat to save even a stranger halfway across the world. But for the first time, i read something on this web site that made me question the humanity, yes, humanity, of Torah perspective. How could you say that pets don't change or challenge us, unless you never had one?
Our cat died in my son's arms last night. She was our angel for 15 years, and although I have mourned for loved ones (people) before, this pain is just as real. She took my children's tears when they had no one else to trust, when even I could not comfort them. Please don't dismiss this very real relationship so swiftly. She came to us as a skeptical street cat, and became pure love covered in fur. Two feet or four paws, loved ones are loved ones. We lit a Yahrzeit candle for her, and honestly, I don't care whether that violated some kind of "law." She was family.

Naomi
Closter

April 21, 2009

Our pets

Yes, it is G-d that gets us through the tough times. I believe that pets, I have two small dogs, are actually angels. The age of miracles in fact has not passed if only we would see as G-d wants us to see. Our pets are ether gifts from G-d (his Schechinah [presence] meant to literally brighten our lives) or are his angels (manifestations of G-d that offer us unconditional love consistent with His covenant with us).

herschel ben baruch
tamarac, fl/USA

March 16, 2009

I'm deeply in love with my cat

I think that pets are sometimes a lot better than humans. Now that I've accepted the fact that I want to share my life with my cat I'm a lot happier and I think that I can still improve beacaus at least whenever I want to change something about myself I don't have someone trying to hold me back. My cat is always here for me, helping me out when I feel down or when I'm discouraged. I don't think I've chosen this kind of relationship because it's easier. In fact living with an animal is not all the time that easy, it can be quite hard when you want to go in holidays or when you want to move abroad. My cat is destroying everything in my house and he already broke me two computers but that's only materials things and my love for him is really deep and every day, even when he is beaing really a nuisance I'm really happy to have him by my side

Anonymous

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