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Judaism`s age-old secret to building strong relationships and lasting intimacy: modesty

Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore?

Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore?

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It used to be that the borders of the world were very clear. Day was day, night was night, good was good and bad was bad. Today the whole world is suffering from a pervasive loss of borders.
The Nature of Borders
Why do we think that "getting close to someone" means we have to know their every private thought? We're insulted when those we love won't tell us everything. We accuse them of "hiding" from us, and we're hurt.
Remembering Our Purpose
Are you trying to be a perfect wife because you are so hung-up on being perfect? Are you a nice husband because you want to think of yourself as a nice person, or because your wife deserves it?
Becoming One Flesh
As far as souls are concerned, husband and wife are already two halves of the same soul, reunited at the time of marriage. They don't need to become one because they are one, and have always been since the time of creation.
What Does “Happily Ever After” Really Mean?
The Sanctity of Marriage
To come to a wife and say derogatory things about her husband is unconscionable; by the same token, to come to the husband and say nasty things about his wife is intolerable. But, unknowingly, we often find ourselves doing just that.
Loyalty, Respect, and Devotion in Action
Everyone has a capacity for love, respect, and appreciation. You know when you need it, you know when you want it, and you know when you're not getting it.
Humility and Anger
By the time he gets home, he's too ashamed to explain to his wife why he came home early. The next day, he's embarrassed. "How could I behave that way? A grown man, losing his temper over such a petty thing?
Virtues Essential to an Intimate Relationship
Ideally, in a strong traditional marriage, the husband surrenders to the wife and the wife surrenders to the husband. No less and no differently. As responsible as the wife feels for the husband, the husband feels for the wife.
Being Receptive to Another Person
In marriage, you have to have the kind of receptiveness that enables you to perceive your spouse as he or she really is. But in order to do so, you must first become open, empty, and very vulnerable.
How Modesty Creates Borders
Why did G-d give us the wonderful gift of sexuality and then say, "But don't use it now, or here, or there, but only at this time and under certain conditions"? Why didn't he create sexuality that is perfectly acceptable at all times?
Modest Relationships
Teenage dating is stressful, an unnecessary burden. The competition is not fair to the kids who aren't popular; and the kids who are popular become cruel about it. It doesn't do anyone any good.
How Separation Creates Fiery Love
There are two kinds of human love: the intrinsic, calm love that we feel for people to whom we're related by birth; and the more intimate, fiery love that exists in marriage. This is why the husband-wife relationship is very different from the parent-child relationship.
Three Kinds of Modesty
Everything in creation is meant to thrive in its own environment: Fish live in water, plants live in soil, animals must breathe air. The environment in which a human being thrives is modesty.
Like the bumps on a highway that you feel when you're weaving out of your lane, embarrassment is a warning sign telling you that you crossed a border, that you are trespassing. If you accidentally stray out of the proper lane, you are ashamed and you feel embarrassed. Shame and embarrassment are the warning of a border being crossed: the border of privacy.
A human being is always a sexual being. What we do with our sexuality depends on who we are, on what we were raised to believe, on how we were taught, and on our society.
Reclaiming Intimacy, Modesty, and Sexuality
Marriage used to be so simple: When a man and a woman got married, they rang the bell and the bell worked. But today, when we ring the bell of marriage, it doesn't work the way it's supposed to.

Jewish Wedding—Step by Step
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