348. Each One's Mitzvah

Wearing the tzizits moves something in me. Somehow, when I put them on and pull them out where I can see them, I feel, I don't know; comfort?, connected?, joy?.

I once always wore them tucked in, but when I started wearing them out something special moved in my heart. Perhaps some will think this silly, and still others that this is merely common knowledge; but I now cannot imagine wearing them tucked away as I used to. No other mitzvot do the same for me. They stir my soul and help me remember why I am here. They balance me. Perhaps this is that personal affinity of which the Rebbe speaks. I only know how they make me feel personally.

His words ring with such truth!

I am not a Jew and don't speak or read Hebrew, although I would love to do both.
I am a Christian who loves to pray for the peace of Jerusalem. I trust you understand this. I am learning to understand Judaism. What does Mitzvahs mean?

When I was six years old, I wrote a note to the teacher who had given a test on Yom Kippur and anyone who was absent got a zero. I was outraged and wanted her to know that she had done wrong. But after writing the note, I decided it would not work, that nothing would serve to enable her to know she was wrong. So I was ready to discard the note.

I had never heard the Ten Commandments. But I could not discard that note. I tried to preserve it and unfortunately I eventually lost it. Why? Because it had the capital letter G, followed by the lower case letters od. I felt unable to throw away a piece of paper with that Name on it.

How did I know to be bothered? Most people, even knowing the Ten Commandments, scoff at such pickiness. But I seem to have been born knowing. Keeping this mitzvah has always been important to me, more than all the other mitzvos. Why? Did I violate it in a previous life? Or is there another reason for having an affinity for one mitzvah?