Readings

Yisroel stood in the doorway, cheeks and nose bright red from the cold, snow crusting his thick brown bangs. "My mother is still not here, and I'm frozen. Can I wait inside?"

There’s a smug smile on my face, a smile wholly at odds with the somber setting and the assembly of mourners. It is the first anniversary of my grandfather’s death, and his descendants have gathered to speak lovingly of the man who was husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.

In today's world, we're told that the faster and fuller we "carry on with our lives" after we lose someone, the healthier we are. Does this mean that we're all disposable and replaceable? Can our loved ones laugh so quickly after we're gone?

For the first 33 years of my life, I never probed the reason why non-mourners leave the room. I was happy to be legally expelled from the synagogue and catch a schmooze with a fellow yizkor-evacuee...

Many find it intriguing that the Kaddish makes no mention of the deceased. Kaddish speaks of G-d's greatness. What does this have to do with the one for whom I am saying Kaddish?

I am almost embarrassed to say it, but I went to my grandmother's grave and begged her to come to my wedding. Did she hear me?

There's nary a shul bench in Mineola or a park bench in Jerusalem that does not bear the inscription "In memory of ...." Is that what it's about -- memorializing the dead? or is there something more significant at play here?

There was Ari, 15, who used to say that "life was too short to waste on anger." Noah, 6, was extra nice to children who had trouble making friends. Adira, 5, was strong-willed and carefree. Natan, 4, had Down syndrome and loved to play guitar and sing...

A loved one dies, who do we blame? The doctor, the hospital, the nursing staff, illness, smoking, bad lifestyle habits? Ultimately, after all is said and done, where does the buck stop?

A trip to the Holy Land became a spiritual experience even before we took off.