Where Shiva Is Observed

Ideally, shiva should be observed by all relatives in the house of the deceased. Where a man has lived, there does his spirit continue to dwell. It is, after all, in that place that one is surrounded with the tangible remains of a person's lifework, and it is only right that evidence of his life should be evident during shiva. In addition, it is of distinct value to have the family united as it was in days gone by.

It is permitted to travel even great distances after the funeral in order to observe shiva in the house of the deceased. However, in such cases, the acceptance of mourning should be demonstrated formally at the cemetery, in the cemetery office or on the grounds, by sitting on a low stool and removing the shoes for a short while.

Circumstances, however, are not always ideal. Thus, if there is a need to sleep in one's own home, the mourner may commute, but should do so after dark when the streets are quiet. He should then return to the house of the shiva early in the morning, before people generally arise.

Thus, too, if a person desires to sit shiva within his own home, in the company of his mate and children, he may do so. He may also travel distances from the cemetery to his home. However, if he is to travel, he should first accept mourning at the cemetery, as noted above.