Contact Us

Day Two: Gevurah of Chesed

Day Two: Gevurah of Chesed

2nd Day of the Omer

 Email

Healthy love must always include an element of discipline. A degree of distance and respect for the other. An assessment of the persons capacity to contain your love. Love must be tempered and directed properly. Ask a parent who in the name of love has spoiled his child; or someone who suffocates their spouse with love and doesn't allow her any space of her own. Love with discretion is necessary to avoid giving to those that don't deserve it.

Is my love disciplined enough? Do others take advantage of my giving nature? Am I hurting anyone by becoming their crutch in the name of love? Am I hurting my children by forcing upon them my value system because I love them so? Do I respect the one I love or is it a selfish love? Am I sensitive to his feelings and attitudes? Do I see my beloved as an extension of myself and my needs? In my love is there as much emphasis on the one I love and his ability to contain my love as there is on me and my giving? Rain is a blessing only because it falls in drops that don't flood the fields.

Exercise for the day: Help someone on their terms not on yours. Apply yourself to their specific needs even if it takes effort.

From A Spiritual Guide to the Omer by Simon Jacobson
Republished with the permission of MeaningfulLife.com. If you wish to republish this article in a periodical, book, or website, please email permissions@meaningfullife.com
© Copyright, all rights reserved. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with Chabad.org's copyright policy.
 Email
Join the Discussion
Sort By:
6 Comments
1000 characters remaining
BA Kress Austin April 14, 2014

Strength in One's Love I would add the notion that one's love for another must also be geared to what is good for the other, even when the other might not understand what the "good" actually is. In other words, the other sometimes thinks love amounts simply to being "supportive," more or less, acquiesing to what he or she wants or feels in the moment.

The gevurah of chesed often drives us to love in a way that helps those we love even when the expression of our love may feel uncomfortable or when something softer or less demanding or different may be either expected or wanted in the moment.

I say all of this, while fully agreeing with the comment that we must be careful not to allow our love to mask our own interest rather than the real need of the loved one. Reply

Rachel Cleveland, OH April 10, 2012

Love with discretion Good quote: "Love with discretion is necessary to avoid giving to those that don't deserve it."
I wish I had known this concept fully many years ago. My life could have taken a better direction. So much to learn still. Reply

Chesed Yocheved Avraham Seattle, WA/USA April 9, 2012

kindness with empathy is blind love to you from me I am so greatfull to be called Chesed, and when come together with Gevurah, and the others element that compose my self being in the serving for humanity and specially for my fellow jew, I feel complete.
Thanks for this great lessons that increase my good being inside of me, for the sake of our Creator and our holy nation of Israel. Reply

Gayle Birmingham, AL/USA September 21, 2009

thanks for this site like the two previous posters, I have been questioning what are the main lessons I need to learn in this life...and yes, I have come to strongly believe that gevurah is where my lessons are to be found...

Great site, thank you! :) Reply

Chaya Bluma April 21, 2009

Recovering Enabler This day's task is a daily, sometimes hourly, one for me! As an enabler in recovery :-), I am learning to focus on my own feelings/needs/goals instead of busily attempting to fix others. I humbly ask G-d to help me constantly remember that I need to be responsible for myself. I demonstrate love for others the most when I support them in becoming responsible for themselves. Reply

Anonymous new city, NY/USA May 3, 2006

internet learning Thank you so much for making it easy to learn and grow. My life's journey is to refine my self. For a long time, I did not know what my personal journey was - the more I began to learn, the more I knew I needed to learn.
Thank you for making part of learning as easy as daily readings on the computer. Reply

Related Topics