The Customs of Jewish Names

Who Names?

• There are various opinions as to who has the right to choose the name of the child. According to many opinions1, the father selects the name of the first child, the mother selects the name of the second child, then the father selects the name of the third child and so on.

• Where there is no established custom, one should follow this procedure2.

• According to other opinions, the mother has the right of naming the first child, the father the second child, the mother names the third child and so on.

• In situations of conflict, it is understood that the couple should consult with their rabbi.

After Whom?

• Very often, people name their child after a deceased individual or a rabbi. At times, people want to combine a name of a deceased relative and a Rabbi. The Rebbe writes3 that his father-in-law, the previous Chabad Rebbe did not want that the names of the Chabad Rebbes should be combined with any other names.

• Regarding combining names of two relatives, etc. there are opinions on both sides -- those that permit it and those that say it should not be done. If one does give a child names of two individuals, it is only proper that the child be called by both names4.

When?

• A girl is named at the Torah reading. The name should be given on the immediate Monday, Thursday or Shabbat. One should not wait for the Torah reading on Shabbat.

• A boy is given his name at the time of the Brit (circumcision). If the boy is ill and can not have the Brit, the name giving is delayed until the child is well enough to have the Brit at which time the name is given.

• If the child is a first born and he has not had his brit prior to the Pidyon Haben - redeeming of the first son, he should be given a name before the Pidyon Haben takes place5. If the child is ill , and it is necessary to pray on behalf on the child, a name should be given to the child right away and then prayers said using his name.

Mention of Name in Prayers

• It is customary to add at the end of the Amidah, right before Yehiyu Leratzon in Elokei Netzor a verse from the Tanach (bible), the first letter of which starts with the same letter as the person's Jewish name, and ending with the the last letter of his name6. For example, if a man's name is Mendel or the woman's name is Mindel, their verse is "Mah Tovu, etc" from Numbers 24:5. The first letter of the first word - Mah - in the verse is a Mem (מ) which is also the first letter of Mendel or Mindel. The last letter of the last word in the verse - Yisroel - is the letter Lamed (ל) which is also the same last letter of the names Mendel and Mindel. If a person has more than one name, a verse for each name should be said.

• It is stated that one who says these verses on a daily basis will be saved from Gehinnom, hell. It should be pointed out that there are a few names for which there is no verse, such as the name Pesach.

Same Name as future In-Laws

• A man should not marry a woman if her name is the same as his mother, and likewise a girl should not marry a man whose name is similar to her father, unless another name is added7. The custom is for the future son-in-law or daughter-in-law to add an additional name to their name.