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Chabad.org » Learning & Values » Kabbalah & Jewish Mysticism » Chassidic Thought » Insights & Readings » By Boruch Cohen » A Middle Aged Mystic in Macy's
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A Middle Aged Mystic in Macy's


If the doctor didn't make it official, the new slacks did.

The doctor used the usual method, prescription. After prescribing it, he said: "Actually, it's a vitamin."

"Can't I eat more vegetables instead?"

I was worried. First there's one prescription, then, a second for the side effects, then a third to fix the imbalances. Soon there are enough pills at mealtime to constitute a side dish.

"That's why," explained the doctor, "people today live longer." He patted my back.

"Welcome," he said, "to middle age."

Later, I was in Macy's, looking for slacks. But when I put on my "usual" size, I looked like a disco dancer. The next size yielded the same results.

Eventually I went up two sizes; that's four extra inches, or, measured talmudically, a handbreadth.

Welcome, said the pants, to middle age.

Funny, I don't remember growing up.

That may sound crazy from a man with a family, life insurance and spare eyeglasses to find the regular pair when misplaced -- but it's true. I feel like the same "me" as when I was eight. I assumed it was a personality disorder.

An old Far Side Calendar cartoon for December 18 shows rows of tiny cubicles, each with worker busy at the desk. One, in a strange feathered cap, is daydreaming.

The caption: Thirty years had passed, and although he had no real regrets about marrying Wendy, buying a home and having two kids, Peter found his thoughts often going back to his life in Never-Never-Land.

I saved it because December 18 is my birthday -- Divine Providence Strikes Again! -- and because it gave my disorder a name: the Peter Pan Complex.

Some men hit middle age and buy a sports car. I bought pants. But these pants inspired a vision so clear it was like buying a new pair of glasses.

It was while carrying the pants to the checkout counter that I had my epiphany: the Peter Pan Complex is not childishness, but timelessness. The soul is eternal, and this Never-Never-Land feeling that transcends time and place is an expression of that eternity.

Middle age, I realized, brings knowledge of self, body and soul. The body gets the prescriptions, growing waistline and dimming vision. The soul gets a glimpse of the inner transcendental self -- the child within, Kabbalah calls it.

Which reminds me -- has anyone seen my crayons?

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Sep 24, 2008
My moment of knowing I was getting older was at a wedding. I found that I fit in with the circle dancing with one of the mothers, not the bride.

But I still feel like "me". So how do I prevent being old before my time, and yet maintain dignity? I think Chuck might be on to something. I think I'll forget about embarassment, and just be myself.
Posted By Sarah Masha, W Bloomfield, MI/ USA
via baischabad.com

Posted: Jan 28, 2007
I love being 50!
I share your experience! I too still feel like a kid, although the calendar says I am 50 years old. This is proving to be a wonderful time.
As part of my gift to myself, I started studying Tanya. Wow is that better than the typical mid life crisis!!!
Posted By Sue Miner, Allentown, PA
via chabadlehighvalley.com

Posted: Feb 3, 2005
Middle Aged Mysic in Macy's
Very well written with incredible "insight". Thank you!
Posted By Anonymous, Naples, FLO

Posted: Feb 2, 2005
Feeling the same
At age 38, I still have a tendency to skip through the house (and occasionally at work, I'm told) and imagine being an athlete, astronaut, and a few other things I wish I were 30 years ago. When making photocopies, I'll "stretch" by imitating a pitcher. I never exactly tried to stop doing that, but I'm trying to give up being embarassed, when I'm caught.

The great thing about having children is that gives me an excuse to watch cartoons again -- not that I ever stopped. And buy toys again. Give my kids a few more years and I'll have grandchildren to do the same with.

Posted By Chuck Lipsig, Gainesville, FL

Posted: Feb 1, 2005
Expanding body after 50
I too was finding myself into larger pants. Up 3 sizes. Then I took stock of my eating habits and decided to exercise control over my APPETITE. In 5 months I am again down to my former weight and size and feel wonderful! No exercise, no pills, no special diet. Just good food in moderation.
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Feb 1, 2005
A Mystic in Macy's
This man is a wonderful writer !
Posted By Katherine Lipkin, Copley, OH



 


By Boruch Cohen
What I Did on My Summer Vacation
A Middle Aged Mystic in Macy's
Mr. Self-Sacrifice
Old Jew, New Tricks
What the Ark Taught Noah
The Talking Lottery
The First Good Kabbalah Class
The Tree of Life
The Matzah Man
Head Breaker
Our Wall
A Kabbalist's Guide to Hieroglyphics