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My Plastic Pharaoh

My Plastic Pharaoh

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So here I am, scrubbing out the crumbs from my ergonomic keyboard, faxing in my Deed of Chametz Sale and downloading a new Haggadah. In other words, its almost Passover already. I'll soon be sitting at the Seder table with family and friends and the same question as with every one of these holidays is going to come up: What are we celebrating? What are we all here for?

My kids tell me that's no question: We're here to celebrate our freedom. That's what the holiday is called, "The Festival of Our Freedom." We were slaves in Egypt, now we are free. So let's get to the meal and celebrate.

I'm glad they feel so free. As for me, I'm still a slave and Pharaoh, king of Egypt, never died. I labor for him all week long. He tricked me into it: First, he let me have all these nice things I really wanted for nothing. Later he started demanding money for them. When, one time, I didn't pay all the money, he demanded even more money. So I have to keep working real hard to give him all the money he demands.

I carry a picture of Pharaoh in his present incarnation in my wallet. It has his very intimidating new name engraved on it. He's called "Master Card."

But my kids don't go for that. They say that in the Haggadah it says Pharaoh let us go free. Well, I know the Haggadah a little better than them. The fact is, the Haggadah, like every other piece of Torah, is full of puzzles and seeming contradictions, there just so you'll ask questions. If you read any piece of Torah, especially the Haggadah, and you don't have any questions, you obviously aren't reading right.

(That's why the "Son Who Doesn't Know How to Ask Questions" gets put at the very end of the table. Not the Wicked Son. Not the Simple Son. The "Unquestioning Son." Not just because unquestioning is very unJewish, but also because it means youre plain not paying attention to what's going on.)

To get to the point: We just finished making Kiddush, in which we call this "The Festival of Our Freedom." What do we say next? "This is the Poor Man's Bread...Now we are slaves, next year we will be free men."

Now is that a contradiction or is that a contradiction? Are we free or are we slaves?

So my kids tell me that we're celebrating that once we were slaves and then we got free and so we're celebrating. The fact that we all got into a mess and became slaves again, well, too bad. We can still commemorate the past. As long as the dinner is good.

Let me tell you something: I'm not into commemorating the past. If I'm going through all this trouble in the year 5760, 3,312 years later to clean my house for Passover and make a big Seder, it's got to have more significance than commemorating something that cancelled itself out with history anyway.

The problem of being a slave with all these contradictions, coupled with the stress of cleaning for Passover, really bothered me. So I went to see a psychotherapist. The psychotherapist listened, took notes and then told me that MasterCard is not Pharaoh. I am Pharaoh. More specifically, my unreasonable demands upon myself is the Pharaoh.

I told him my only real demand upon myself is that I should not be a slave. He said I shouldn't use that word, "should." The word "should" means I'm making an unreasonable demand upon myself. That causes stress. Stress, in his Haggadah, is slavery. Apparently, the Hebrews in Egypt were really stressed out. Building pyramids was nothing. It's the stress that did them in.

"So," I asked, "What should I do? I don't want to be a slave."

He told me I shouldn't do anything. Wanting is ok. I can want to not be a slave. Shoulding is bad. It's unreasonable to should.

Now I was really confused. I had always understood that "I should" was my liberator and "I want" was the one that got me in all this trouble to begin with. But the hour was up and there I was in the office showing my picture of Pharaoh to the psychotherapist's secretary.

"In summary," I thought, "I shouldn't say should." I needed to make another appointment with the shrink to ask whether I should or should not say that I shouldn't say should. But, at these professional rates, I didn't think my little Pharaoh would let me.

At any rate, I decided, I don't need a shrink to achieve liberation. After all, liberation is a form of enlightenment. When is the last time you met a spiritually enlightened psychotherapist? What I needed was a guru. An elevated, transcendent soul who is essentially liberated and could pull me out of all this muck and mire.

So I sat down and keyboarded out a letter, explaining everything, to the Guadalajara Rebbe. Then I fired it off to enlightenment@guadalajara.guru. I stayed online awaiting my reply. In the meantime, I electronically paid the bills I was incurring by staying online so long in order to get a swift reply. My little Pharaoh came in useful again.

Then it came. Verbatim, as follows:

"We are all prisoners. The act of existence is our crime. The universe is our prison. Our bodies and our personage is our cell. The keys to liberation are held tight in the fists of our own egos."

Then a little note: "see Tanya, chapter 47. Also read Bringing Heaven Down to Earth by Tzvi Freeman."

I meditated, I sipped licorice tea, I meditated some more, and I got it. MasterCard is not Pharaoh. "I want" is not Pharaoh. Neither is "I should". It's not the want or the should, it's the "I."

I looked in Tanya, the classic Chassidic work by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, chapter 47. There he says that when G‑d gave us the Torah, He gave us Infinitude. We connect to Him with the Torah and we are free because we are then infinite and unbounded as He is. And he writes, "...and so there is nothing stopping anybody except for his own will, for if a person does not want..."

Again, the same idea. We are all free. But our egos clutch tightly the keys.

How do I get my ego to let go of the keys?

For philosophy you can go to an enlightened tzaddik somewhere in Mexico. For practical, real-time liberation, I need The Rebbe. The Lubavitcher Rebbe.

This is the practical advice of the Rebbe, in a talk one Passover:

"Make a part of your life an act that takes you beyond your bounds, helping people that are not part of your family or circle of friends, doing something that does not fit within your own self-definition. Invite someone to your seder who you're not so comfortable with. At first, it may not feel so good. But you have set yourself free."

So, again this year, I come to my seder. I leave my own little world of my own puny self and I walk through the door into something infinite, timeless and eternal, because it is bound with an infinite, timeless and eternal G‑d. I am no longer part of me. I am part of us and part of His Torah and therefore part of Him.

And to prove it, I say, "Let all those who are needy come and join our seder. No matter who."

I have broken free. This year, we should all break free. Not just at the seder, but for every moment of our lives. Forever.

This year in Jerusalem.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, a senior editor at Chabad.org, also heads our Ask The Rabbi team. He is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth. To subscribe to regular updates of Rabbi Freeman's writing, visit Freeman Files subscription. FaceBook @RabbiTzviFreeman Periscope @Tzvi_Freeman .
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Yehudit Olam Hazeh, Atzilut April 7, 2012

Thank you Rabbi Tzvi for once again reminding me that my work here in Olam Hazeh is to push my envelope to ever widening circles of inclusion while respecting Me -the Me Hashem created. Reply

Anonymous w orange, N.J., USA April 6, 2012

So Tizvi tells us that we need to get out of the way of our ego which tells us that the world revolves around ourselves. This human situation is the core of stress and frustration. If we act with the belief that we are here to assist uor fellow man in all ways possible, we become part of the human consciousness and not our personal consciousness.The Dali Lama says that its simmple to lead a life of balance. Just treat others at all times as you knowm in your heart, how you would like to be treated. Simple and basic. One steps out of his ego and takes on the personna of his fellow man. Try it uot as once we open ourselves to assisting uor famkly ,freinds, neighbors, the world, we expereince liberation of self. Reply

Anonymous NY, NY August 25, 2011

I have looked into this. As far as I know none of my female forebears were Jewish.

Derisively, I have been told that I have a Jewish nose and, by the way "some of my best friends are Jewish", speaking of derisive and patronizing things to say.

Some of my best friends are Anglicans, Episcopalians, Lutherans, Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox etc. etc. I don't know any Amish or Mennonites. Reply

Dovid Jerusalem, Israel August 25, 2011

You don't have to become a Jew in order to believe in G-d, or to love Him and have Him love you. All you have to do is keep the Seven Noahide Commandments, i.e. the seven commandments that were given to Noah after the flood. Noah also wasn't Jewish. And it's certainly easier than keeping the 613 commandments that God gave the Jews. Just one thing-you have to keep them for the sole
purpose of fulfilling G-d's will, and not because they sound nice or ethical, etc.

With best wishes

P.S Why don't you first investigate your past. Jewishness is passed down by the mother. Maybe your mother and maternal grandmother were Jewish and didn't know it and then you are also Jewish. Reply

Anonymous new york, ny August 25, 2011

I am not Jewish. I was raised in a secular family. Dad often said, "Bobby there is a G-d and we DON"T believe in him.

Well, fast forward 75 years; here I am, an 81 year old retired doc, surfing the internet, finding your website, read it three times . . . . . .
AND I AM SMITTEN! Perhaps I want to become a Jew. Is there hope for me? Reply

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman (author) January 30, 2011

Credit cards are plastic. Reply

Anonymous January 30, 2011

I read your article and liked it very much but I don't understand the title,"My Plastic Pharaoh". Could you please explain what it means "plastic paroh" Thank you. Reply

Chana Batya Corvallis, USA January 13, 2011

I love your words and how you describe things. G-d has blessed you and we are all grateful for your inspiration. Thank you so much and have a beautiful day. Reply

Rus Devorah Wallen Williamsville, NY January 13, 2011

Very creative and insightful. Thank you very much for sharing. Reply

Laura Ellen Truelove January 12, 2011

What a gem we are offered in this sacred story! I have a similar story of my own I shall write some day. It seems we all seek freedom in all the wrong places. My son has just spoken to me today about all the busyness and noise and pressure in his life with his career and young children. He has so little time for quiet and prayer and sacred reading he tells me every time we talk. He longs to be free but is so bound! Perhaps this little gem of a story is the answer to a mother's prayer for her son! Perhaps I shall send it to him and it will help point the way to freedom in a way he will understand. Thank you for this gem! May G-d bless and keep you! Reply

Yosef ben Eliaju Redwood City, CA January 12, 2011

So, what about all of us who never met or had a relationship with the guru/Rebbe. Not possible to find enlightenment without one/him? Where does that leave us? I certainly understand how easy it can be to delude ourselves - we require others, preferably wise others - to see ourselves clearly sometimes. Our there limitations to each persons capacity for enlightenment? Has no one ever found G-D without a Guru/Rebbe? This does not bode well for humanity... Reply

Anonymous Yerushalayim, Israel January 12, 2011

Interesting that exactly today when I am involved in a big conflict with future in-laws about setting the wedding date, G-d leads me to this article.

I, of course, am right. They are wrong. The date I want is the best time possible, the date they want is not. It is very inconvenient for me and will cost us more money. But this morning I decided for the sake of peace, to give in. My husband is very proud of me.

I gave in, but it was with my fists clenched and my teeth grinding. My jaws hurt me already. Also my arms and shoulders. Who are THEY to tell ME what to do? I (almost) always get my way. And they come along and tell ME what to do?

And now G-d, in His infinite kindness, brought me to read your article, and I realize that by negating myself I am doing a kindness for people who I do not know yet, and have a great opportunity to disconnect from this "ME" and connect into Him. I am already beginning to feel some freedom from myself. Reply

Anonymous Australia January 6, 2011

Sitting down to the computer I click on the various subscribed items. I’m enjoying a feast, as usual, at the chabad.org table.

Then an item of food catches my attention – a dish named ‘My Plastic Pharaoh.’ Wearing half a smile I reach for it with a click.

Having eaten food presented by this chef before my anticipation is that the dish will be as creative as the title. Am I expecting too much?

My smile spreads as I read, a chuckle escapes. Then throwing my head back with a laugh the chef has ‘sold’ his dish.

Seriously though, I did get the point ….. or two ….. or three …! Reply

emma copping london, UK May 4, 2010

interesting...and slightly weird for me but it shows people in an easier way what this is about. Reply

Anonymous Buenos Aires, Argentina March 24, 2010

really well written, very entertaining and amen!!! Reply

dov March 24, 2010

all is fine if you're the cold intellectual who needs to learn to splurge, and give yourself over a bit, (like that evil one who asks good questions but won't get involved) but for the other types of ppl. what is their answer? (seems rabbi freeman needs four answers, for four sons) Reply

mimmy schaeffer Worcester, MA. April 13, 2009

i really like this it teaches u a lot i am in 6th grade and some of these things i didnt even learn any way i really want to hear more of these at least once a week or once a month my favorite part is when it said help people out even though they are not part of your family very nice!!!!!!!! Reply

Tarah Saylorsburg, Pa. April 9, 2009

Thank-you SO much! I really enjoy your writings! Your style is so practical and yet deep and enlightening. I have been wondering the same question - how do we free ourselves from ourselves and truly connect with His infinite endlessness of self and abundance??? Thank-you for a peice in the puzzle, I truly believe the Rebbe is right on! Thanks for sharing your journey!! Reply

rebecca Rubinstein March 16, 2009

When we soar to that place of "natural connection" with G-d and our true Matza being, we can throw away the "shoulds" and the "wants" and just BE. Being connected to our spiritual selves is the greatest freedom there is. It is the true Lightness of Being. thank you for a wonderful way of transmitting this deep concept. Reply

Tzvi Freeman (author) April 7, 2007

Yes, Rabbi Sholom Dovber, the fifth rebbe of Chabad once gave that explanation.

But there are 70 ways to interpret everything in Torah--all of them true, all of them Torah. Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the 7th rebbe, gave the interpretation I presented here. Reply