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Sending Love Packages to Deceased Loved Ones

Sending Love Packages to Deceased Loved Ones


Dear Rabbi,

My son recently died in an accident. I would like to know if he can see or hear us here on earth. Is he still aware of us now that he is in heaven?

Your comments would be appreciated. Mom is missing her son.


The mystery of death is one that we cannot truly comprehend. Why some souls are with us so briefly is beyond our understanding.

But we know that only the body dies, not the soul. And it is the soul of a person that we love. Our connection with a loved one is not with their physical presence, but their personality, their love, their energy, their spirit. And that relationship never goes away. It just takes another form.

The mystery of death is one that we cannot truly comprehend. Why some souls are with us so briefly is beyond our understanding. The Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, of righteous memory, once spoke to a mother who was inconsolable after the loss of her son. He asked her, “What if I told you that your son isn’t dead? Rather, he has gone to a place where he is safe and happy. He feels no pain; he has no fear and no regrets. You can’t see him. But you can send him love packages, and he will receive them and enjoy them. If I told you this, would things be different?”

She thought about it and answered, “Well, I guess the pain would not be quite so unbearable if I knew he was safe, and I could tell him that I love him.”

“Well,” the Rebbe told her, “this is in fact the case. Your son is in heaven, where he is at peace. And he can still feel your love. The love packages you send to him are the mitzvahs, the good deeds you do in his memory and in his honor. When you give a coin to charity, say a prayer, light the Sabbath candles, learn some Jewish texts, or show kindness to those in need, and you have him in mind, he receives a flow of love from you. His soul is elevated when you perform good deeds in his memory. Channel your grief into a positive force. Let the vacuum caused by your loss draw more light into the world.”

Nothing can replace the physical touch of a hug, the pleasure of seeing your child grow and learn and play. But he is still with you. And he knows that he is blessed with a loving mother who will always think of him.

We don’t know why it has to be this way. But one day, we will be reunited with the souls of our loved ones, and we will understand it all.

See When Does One Stop Mourning a Death? from the Jewish Death & Mourning Minisite.

Aron Moss is rabbi of the Nefesh Community in Sydney, Australia, and is a frequent contributor to
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Karen Joyce Chaya Fradle Kleinman Bell Riverside, CA, USA June 1, 2012

I cried when I read this answer. There is so much LOVE inherent in those thoughts and words. G=d bless you for these thoughts. Reply

David Clovis, Nm May 20, 2012

when we die where in the bible does it say that when we die we go to heaven I thought that we were asleep till the resurrection Reply

John Nocera Calhoun, LA November 29, 2011

Incredible wisdom I truly regret I never met the Rebbe. What a man of profound wisdom and spiritual insight. I will remember this when I must console someone who has lost a loved one. Reply

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