Can a convert be my soul-mate?

Question:

My girlfriend isn't Jewish, but she is in the process of converting.

In your Kabbalah class you said that everyone has a soul-mate, the missing part of our soul. Before we are born our souls are split in two, half is placed in a male child and the other half in a female, and we spend our lives searching for that one person that completes our soul.

I believe I have met my soul-mate.

Am I correct in saying that according to you, she can't be the other half of my soul (even after she converts) because I was born with a Jewish soul and she wasn't?

Don

Answer:

Good question Don.

While generally a Jew's soul-mates also born Jewish, there are rare exceptions -- it could also be a convert. Because there's more to a convert to Judaism than meets the eye.

The Kabbalah teaches that a true convert actually always had a latent Jewish soul, which for some cosmic reason had to go through a long spiritual journey in order to find its way back. This is one reason why the conversion process is made to be difficult: we are really just testing to see if this person indeed has a Jewish spark; if they do, then no obstacle in the world will be able to stop them rejoining their people.

So it is certainly possible that your girlfriend is your other half. But there's only one way to find out for sure. If she has been exposed to authentic Judaism, and became attracted to it to the point where she truly and sincerely wants to become Jewish, and is determined to do whatever it takes to get there, then she has a Jewish spark that could be the other half of your soul. And if she feels it's not for her, then you both will have been saved from marrying the wrong person.

There was quite a response to this ask the Rabbi. Below are two examples.

Michael:

I found your last email offensive. You are essentially saying that only Jews have souls and if a non-Jew wants a soul they have to convert!

Rabbi Moss:

I apologize if you were offended, but that is not at all what I wrote. A non-Jew most certainly has a soul. But not a Jewish soul. We have different souls because we have different missions. A true convert had a latent Jewish soul all along, and his/her destiny was always to be a part of the Jewish people. But this in no way means that a non-Jew doesn't have a soul.

Natalie:

If a male dies at an early age, does that mean his soul did not "split" into male and female, or is there a female somewhere out there who will never find her other half?

Rabbi Moss:

In a case where someone dies young (G-d forbid), there are a few possible explanations as to what happened to their soulmate: 1) their soulmate also passed away, 2) they met their soul-mate already in a previous life and only came back to finish a specific mission, which had been accomplished or 3) their soulmate married someone else, and they will meet up in their next reincarnation. Whatever the case, everyone will eventually reunite with their true soulmate.