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Chabad.org » Learning & Values » Questions & Answers » G‑d and Us » Help Me Cope With My Challenges
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Help Me Cope With My Challenges


Photo: Ivan Vicencio
Photo: Ivan Vicencio

Dear Rabbi,

I have a lot of challenges in my life. What should I remember to help me cope?

Answer:

Thanks for reaching out to us.

When one is in a challenging situation, every minute feels like eternity. I hope that by now you're in a better situation than when you wrote, or at least it is improving.

The Talmud states that "G‑d does not make unreasonable demands from His creations.”1 Or as our Sages say in the Midrash, “G‑d does not make matters difficult for His creatures; He expects a person to perform according to his capacity.”2

This means that no matter what happens to us, or what challenges come our way, there is no doubt that we are also given the strength to handle them. While we might not immediately or automatically experience this strength, developing this perspective will itself give one strength to deal with challenges.

Now it could be that you have to dig deeper, reach into your potential, work with supportive people around you, pray to G‑d for assistance, or write to us at chabad.org; but there is no doubt that you have the capacity to reach even higher, and be happier and stronger than you were before this challenge. If you spend some time considering the history of your relationship with G‑d, you will probably see that you have done this before.

Please see our selection on The Jewish Take on Struggle, Challenge & Adversity.

Please keep me posted.

Rabbi Zalman Nelson, LMSW,
for The Judaism Website – Chabad.org

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FOOTNOTES
1.

Talmud, Avodah Zarah 3a.

2.

Shemot Rabbah 34.


By Zalman Nelson   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Zalman Nelson is a licensed therapist, online counselor, and freelance writer/editor. His private practice fuses modern therapeutic techniques with the ancient Jewish wisdom of Kabbalah and Chassidic thought. He lives in Israel with his wife and five children. Connect with him here.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Apr 26, 2012
Although it is not from G-d, the overcoming
Is FOR Him. He put us on this earth knowing we will live as imperfect humans on an imperfect planet, having imperfect experiences, weather, and happenings. In fact, our scriptures say the rain falls on the just and the unjust. They don't say to search for why the rain falls that way. We don't always have bad things happen in order to learn a lesson. However, in the overcoming, there is a growth of character which happens. It has been said that you can only help someone else if you have been through it. So , parents who have lost a child can support others in that situation. Cancer survivors can help others like them. Etc. In this way, our individual existences become connected into a collective family.
Posted By Karen Joyce Chaya Fradle Kleinman Bell, Riverside, CA, USA

Posted: Feb 16, 2012
on challenges
The answer is yes. We do both. First and foremost is the acceptance, taking in stride, summoning up the trust that it's not random, and G-d sent it my way for the good. Then we look deeper into it, trying to look past the messenger and into the message: what am I being told, what's being pointed out to me, what can I learn from this? You may come up with something or it may take time. But there needs to be the underlying confidence that all is for the good and in dealing with what we've been sent discover more that we're capable of and unwrap the challenge to receive the blessing. Also, we're told that the more one trusts that it's all for the good ultimately, the faster it reveals itself.
Posted By Rabbi Zalman Nelson, Safed, Israel

Posted: Feb 16, 2012
challenges
I have a question are we supposed to try and search for answers when bad things befall us? Or are we supposed to take things in stride and accept that it is from God. Because many times even the biggest professionals do not hold the key to the answer we are looking for...
Posted By Miriam



 


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