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Wonder Making

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If you see someone’s faults hanging out and you truly want to help—whether it be a friend, a spouse, your child, or even your nemesis—don’t say a word about what you have found wrong.

Find something wondrous about that person, perhaps something that nobody ever mentions, and talk about it—to yourself, to those who will listen and sympathize.

In very little time, you will see such a new person, you will believe you are a maker of wonders.

Indeed, we all are.

Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson
From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory; words and condensation by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. To order Rabbi Freeman’s book, Bringing Heaven Down to Earth, click here.
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Discussion (14)
May 4, 2012
Source
Likutei Sichot, volume 27, page 158 (first sicha on parashat Emor).

That definitely was not my only source, but certainly a major one.
Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
May 1, 2012
extreme 2 - Ronald Smith
Ronald Smith is on Death Row in Momtana. He is Canadian. There is no doubt about his mercilessly killing two young reserve natives who had picked him up hitch hiking. Whereas he asked to be put to death after the murder 30 years ago, now he is asking for clemency because he is a changed man.

The relatives of the two boys are still very angry that Smith is still alive. They have wanted the execution of Smith all along.. There is one exception though, a young relative who does not believe in capital punishment, and she would rather see Smith rot in jail. I side with the relatives that want him dead. Robbery is the worst crime. Smith robbed the two young men of their lives and robbed their relatives of their kin.

The death sentence is too good for Smith. He should have been executed 30 years ago, not given free room and board and free expensive legal appeals.

Most Canadians want the U.S.government to grant clemency. I am not one of them.
Anonymous
w
May 1, 2012
Source?
I would also like a source so I can learn more about it.
Judith
September 24, 2011
extreme
In Texas a few days ago inmate Brewer was executed. In 1998 he and two buddies tied a black man to the back of their pickup and dragged him to his death. Their idea of fun.

Brewer ordered his last meal, enough to feed an army. Texas Last Meal Law gives the prisoner what he wants. He didn't touch a morsel ! After 13 years in jail he still has his keen sense of humor. They inject him. He dies. The Texas court rescinds the Last Meal Law. Brewer's last bit of fun at other inmates on Death Row.

You might say jail didn't work. I say how did Brewer get 13 more years to live ?

This is an extreme example. My contention is that in the general population, some people are not worth looking at for a good side. Some people are only happy if they make others unhappy. They don't change. It's who they are. i admit that i don't tend to turn the other cheek. I think that saying comes from another religion. As for love thy neighbor, for me it depends on the neighbor. This i will not change.
Anonymous
w
September 23, 2011
Wonder Making ...
There is good in everyone; the fault lies in those who cannot or will not find it. Thank you, Rabbi, for reminding me.
Suzanne Danna-Harlan
Baton Rouge, LA
September 23, 2011
Upbeat
Thanks for the upbeat message. I just don't see much change in socially challenged people. Tolerance yes. Saying something nice about a bandito is just a so-so effort. May present a problem when you ' kvell' over a bandito and then they think that they are fine well liked wholesome people.
Anonymous
w
September 22, 2011
Wise advise.
Thanks (todah rabbah), Rabbi Freeman, for the good counsel.

It's fair to say that what you offer here is the 'antidote' for lashon hara, and it works!

It always helps to be reminded of it by those more diligent about these things then ourselves.

(smile).
Thomas Karp
New Haven, Ct.
September 22, 2011
Nemesis
Rabbi Freeman, can a Jew be the nemesis of another Jew?

ps. I am operating with he first meaning given for nemesis, i.e. 'an archenemy'.
zeynep
November 30, 2009
Success
I tried this on the most difficult student I had, the daughter of a crime figure, who thought she ruled the school. She completely turned around and started producing fantastic work for me, changed from the class menace to the class mentsch. When her mother came to parents evening she had to see the work to believe it. I have left the school now, sent on my way by hugs from the girl, and the promise that she would do her best to move into top set and keep on succeeding. Every time I have a difficult student, I use this and it works!!
Susan Mickey
Birmingham, UK
February 25, 2009
Honesty in friendship
I just want to know if halachically whether if you were friends with someone grossly overweight that you felt that you were concerned for their health and well-being by discussing this with them. I did and they made me feel like I had slapped them upside the head....
Anonymous
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