216. Not Doing

Yes, the mussar of these teachers is heavily influenced by chassidut. Dessler, especially, was very keen on study of Tanya.

This is very strange. When i wrote the response above i did not put in the word Rebuke. How did it get there? The Mussar I am learning, thanks to Rabbis Wolbe, Dessler, and Fertig, as well as Alan Morinis (who has written three books recently on Mussar), has a very diferent take on Mussar. Rebuke is a minor part of it. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, z’’l, is widely considered the foremost contemporary Mussar master. Addressing an observant Jewish audience, he advocated that Mussar be taught to the Jewish community today in a different voice than was used in prior generations. Rav Wolbe focused on the positive. His book on parenting is titled Planting and Building in Childrearing. The key, he said, is to build the child's positive middot, rather than focus on pruning the inappropriate ones.
good shabbos,

Since what you do and what you say comes from your "Core" and from your "Soul"-it has been my experience that those words have been misused by many in this society and in other groups who indicate that they are more honest than the actual society- Since spirituality can be expressed without words at special moments I...believe...we can successfully have a relationship where we aren't shoving our own opinions and desires down the throat of the other...I believe this can be done .

When a student came to study with R. Schneur Zalman, the founder of Chabad, he had to be fluent in the Reishit Chochmah and other classic mussar works. Chassidut does not reject mussar--it builds upon it, going much further. Rather than meet evil head on, Chassidut provides a high road. Rather than fighting the shadow of darkness, Chassidut turns on the lights.

An upcoming article on the topic is in the works--in the "Building Blocks" section.

Dear Rabbi,
I love your Daily Dose and find so many times it resonates deeply with me. I am a serious student of Mussar/ Rebuke and only peripherally a student of Chassidut. The Chabad people I speak with seem to recoil when i mention Mussar. Yet, so much of what you write sounds just like what a Mussar sage would say. Can you give me any help in how to bridge the chasm that seems to exist?

I dont understand what the author is trying to say by loving someone and not doing or saying.

Think the author meant to use the word "breathe" instead of "breath."

Actually, my grandmother hugged me so hard and long, one time, that I really could not breathe and I was probably seconds from passing out. I never allowed myself to let her get a death grip like that on me again.

Love should always respect the freedom and dignity of the human person. And helping someone we love (whether by a particular love or a general love) to recognize a truth, should itself be grounded in morally acceptable means, which is a truth unto itself. For love to be properly directed then it needs to be a braided love, the dominant strand being love of God from whom truth and goodness come and the other strand being love of a person or thing to whose good we are passionately devoted. Through faith and reason we can then know better what to do and what not to do and true love can prosper.

I remember warm summer nights and watching Jazz musicians play late at night and my eyes would be large and my mouth would be wide open and all I could say is "Wow" and the same with the others around me and he would come off stage and someone would tell him "We love you so much is there anything we can do for you?" and he would say "Throw Money" meaning stay away from me and just give me the money to support my music...I had a conversation with him later about it that's how I knew...Now this is the strange part- he didn't want anyones advise or anyone around as a companion-At the time I thought he was hurt but no actually not I had to grow to understand what he was talking about-Love is not in what you do it is in what you do not do-he was waiting-....Thank you for reading this