On the Yartzeit of a Child

Question:

Almost a year ago, I lost my child. I watch the world moving along while I am left behind in the memory of her and of what could have been.

Now the first yartzeit is coming up. What is that supposed to mean to me? Where do I take things from here?

Response:

A first yahrtzeit is two things:

It is a time when the soul of the deceased soars to a yet higher place above—and she can do that best with the help of those she has left behind in this world. And it is a time of closure, when the period of mourning must stop, when life in this world must go on.

It must go on, because just as a river must constantly run downstream to escape stagnation, so a human being must ever grow. To stand still is to allow the events of this world to dictate how you must feel, when you may celebrate and when you must continue to mourn—until life itself is fettered to turn the perpetual millstone of mourning, the future ever overtaken by the past.

To grow is to say, "I've made that journey already. I have been there with all my heart, body and soul. Now let me continue downstream and discover what wonders life yet holds."

After all, why do we mourn death, if not that life is so precious? And you are a young woman with so much life to give, to nurture, to celebrate and to receive nachas. This life as _____ ______ happens only once. Don't lose that opportunity to be _____ ______.

Life is for eternity, this world for but a fleeting moment. Yet for this moment now all was created.

Wishing you much joy in your life and much nachas from all your children,