Dealing With Past Baggage
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Question:
How do I deal with all the baggage of my past lives? Okay, so now I'm (struggling to be) a kosher Jew, but all the thoughts of the past keep coming back. Help me deal with them.
Answer:
Since when did the mess of the past become baggage?
Baggage is the stuff you desperately want to keep no matter where you go because you'll need it there. Either way you look at it, mess-ups of the past don't fit into that definition: If you've never gotten past them, they're for throwing away. And if you've already felt remorse and vowed never to do them again, then they are certainly not baggage—they are the fuel to drive your rocket ship higher and further, faster and more intensely, "to infinity and beyond!"
But baggage? Imagine someone carrying around rocket fuel as baggage!
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Latest Comments:
G-d wants us to love ourselves in totality. That means, we accept that we have had a past, and that we are not perfect, and that we are working towards being better people in our characters and actions. What more could G-d want from us humans? That's if we did something that gives us baggage. If someone else did something that impacted us, we need to see that as being the OTHER person's past baggage and not ours. Otherwise, we HOLD THEIR baggage in our own hearts and minds. Not really smart, is it? If we mourn the past "baggage" because of other people's dumping it on us, we need to see that they, too, were imperfect, even if that is an understatement. Then we can be at peace.
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Thank you for sharing your meaningful experience with Jewish physicians and medical care. It is a wonderful feeling to hear that you recognize the kind and selfless work of those of our Jewish faith. May you and your family be blessed with long life, good health and protection. Thank you again. Not everyone takes the time to share....:)
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Two years ago I reported that in my long life, THREE Jewish physicians had saved it. As of Year 2010, now make that FOUR ! I hear that in Israeli hospitals, enemy wounded are treated the same way. Could G-d be trying to tell us something ? And are we maybe a bit hard-of-hearing ? If, G-dForbid, the Nazis should come again for my Jewish neighbors, they'll have to get past me first !!
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Thank you all for your interest in me. I think i am gaiing a bit of control over my thoughts. if i could divest my feeling it would remove a great burden off my shoulders. Thanks again.
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Life is a journey where you start with what you are taught or what feels right, and then you learn more about who you are and what you want with the years. Congratulations on your growth and may you accept that many of us have been on a journey where we have added more and more Yiddishkeit to our lives as we learn and achieve peace with our learning. It is commendable to go outside of our comfort zone as we grow......All the best and a Happy and Kosher Pesach!
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It is also helpful to start volunteering for people who also have a difficult situation. So many people are in need of a comforting hand. I remember there was a time that I needed support, but there was THE moment when I realized I was READY to offer support to others.
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I can empathize with your stress. It is remarkable that you have struggled so valiantly for so long. Jacob got off lucky in comparison, a one night all out fight with an angel.
We all wish you mazel and blessings. Please take these feelings too into your mind and thoughts at night. It is G-d's whisper in your ear. To me it sounds like you are winning. Further downstream, it will be proven to you.
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I guess try to picture your child standing there with you, holding your hand and telling you he/she is so proud of you for being able to go on. And that he/she is now with your wife, and both of them in the arms of Abraham, spiritually. Again, please accept my sincere condolences. I wish I could have changed things for you then and wish I could make it all better now. Do you attend any support groups or bereavement groups from your health care organization or doctor? I think that we can't call what happened to you "past baggage", since you are holding the feelings still in the present. In my apartment, there is much clutter. I know I have to get rid of things to make room to "breathe" spiritually. So, some things you need to get rid of (the scary parts, the sad parts) and some things you need to keep as momentos (the happy memories). How about we call this "homework"? After all, I was a teacher before I retired. So, homework is to separate the happy from the sad, etc. OK?
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I have read the comments, and i still mourn the passing of my child. It comes to me at night. I try to get it off my mind. It still thunders in my brain. I regret that i was not there to protect her. After the accident i drove my family crazy about safety. Im sure they thought i was crazy. I dont know how we held our marriage together for forty seven years. My wife passed in 2001 of COPD. Thanks for caring.
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It is unimaginable what it must feel like to have gone through two such horrific events. How can you deal with it? Besides the advice here already given? 1) Know that the memory of this will not go away, but the PAIN associated with it CAN with pro-active efforts to go forth and live your life to make your dead loved ones proud. 2) Realize that there will be memory triggers. A song, or a color, or a whiff of a smell, and that the pain will come back for a short while. Then, you have to CONSCIOUSLY chase away those feelings. BTW, SADNESS is acceptable. GUILT is unnecessary. It is what it is, and it was what it was. You can't change the past. Forget all this "past life" nonsense, as it won't help you at this time. It is great for philosophy, but not for constructive advice. I wish you all the best in life, and know that G-d is PLEASED with you for having given your loved ones LOVE while they were alive!
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