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Permitted Marriages

Permitted Marriages

Parshat Acharei

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This week's Torah portion outlines most of the Torah's rules regarding whom one may and may not marry.1 This article will explore this area of Jewish law.

Forbidden Blood Relatives

A man or woman may not marry any of his or her close relatives.2 These forbidden combinations include:

  1. A parent and a child
  2. A grandparent and a grandchild
  3. Siblings or half siblings
  4. An aunt and her nephew

Forbidden Relatives Through Marriage

  1. A man may not marry his mother-in-law or grandmother-in-law even after he divorces his wife or his wife dies.
  2. A man may not marry his wife's daughter or granddaughter even after he divorces his wife or his wife dies.
  3. A man may not marry his uncle's wife even after his uncle's divorce or death.

Forbidden Relatives Through Marriage Who Can Become Permissible

  1. A man may not marry his wife's sister even if he divorced his wife. If, however, his wife (or ex-wife) dies, he may marry her sister.
  2. In general, a man may not marry his brother's wife even if his brother divorces her or dies.
    If however, his brother died without children, by Torah law, he (or another surviving brother) should marry her in order to "establish a name" (i.e., have children) for the deceased brother. This practice is called yibum. The Ashkenazi custom is to avoid yibum3 by conducting a ceremony called chalitzah. After this ceremony, the wife is permitted to marry whomever she wishes except for her deceased husband's brothers or a kohen (priest; see below). In Sephardic communities, the mitzvah of yibum is still practiced (for more, see Yibum and Chalitzah).

In the case of close relatives that are forbidden to marry by Torah law, if they do "marry" each other, the marriage is not considered valid. If they are only forbidden by rabbinic law,4 the marriage, although prohibited, is valid.

Individuals Who May Not Marry Within the Jewish People

Mamzer

A man or a woman who is the child of a forbidden union is considered a mamzer (mamzeret for a female).5

If the mother is Jewish and the father is not, the child is not considered a mamzerA forbidden union is defined for this purpose as one in which the man and woman were forbidden to marry each other. This could be either because the woman was married to someone else at the time of the union, or because they are close relatives (see above).

(Contrary to popular belief, if the parents were permitted to marry each other, but were not actually married, a child from their union is not a mamzer.)

If the mother is Jewish and the father is not, the child is not considered a mamzer.6 A girl born of such a union, however, may not marry a kohen (see below).

Petzu'ah Dakah

A man whose genitalia were crushed or otherwise maimed may not marry within the Jewish people. The details of this law are beyond the scope of this article, but one who has a question in this regard should discuss it with a competent rabbi.7

Intermarriage

It is forbidden for a Jew to marry a non-Jew. This sin is punishable by karet.8 In addition, the Talmud says9 that a man who commits this sin loses the spiritual protection of the brit milah—the circumcision, the covenant of Abraham.

Even if a Jew and a non-Jew have a wedding ceremony, the marriage is deemed invalid under Jewish Law.10 In the case when a child is born, he or she will not be considered Jewish if the mother is a non-Jew.11

Marriage Laws for a Kohen

A kohen (priest, a male descendant of Aaron) has additional restrictions and guidelines regarding whom he may marry.12

A kohen may not marry:

  1. A woman who was divorced. This would apply even to the kohen's own ex-wife.
  2. A woman who had a chalitzah ceremony (see above)
  3. A convert. This is true even if the woman was converted as a small child.
  4. The daughter born to a kohen of a relationship forbidden to a kohen—known as a chalalah.13
  5. The daughter of a Jewish mother and a non-Jewish father.14
  6. A woman who had sexual relations with a man whom she is forbidden to marry, such as a close relative (see above), a mamzer, or a non-Jew.
  7. The widow of a disqualified kohen (see below).15

As long as they remain married, however, the kohen does not receive any privileges of a kohenIf a kohen does marry any of the above women, despite the fact that the marriage is forbidden, it is valid. For as long as they remain married, however, the kohen does not receive any privileges of a kohen. For example, he does not get called to the Torah first, nor may he administer the Priestly Blessing.16 The priesthood itself, however, remains with him and can never be renounced.17 For this reason, the prohibitions that apply to a kohen (that he may not enter a cemetery, etc.) still apply to him.

A male child of such a marriage is considered a disqualified kohen—a chalal. He does not have any of the privileges or prohibitions18 of a kohen. (In the case when a kohen married a woman whose father was not Jewish, the status of the child born to this marriage is unclear.19)

The Daughter of a Kohen

It is considered an inappropriate match for the daughter of a kohen to marry a non-kohen who is not versed in Torah. Rather, she should marry someone who is fluent in at least one tractate of the Talmud. If he does not know even one tractate, it is proper for him to study one before the wedding.20

Second Marriages

  • If a pregnant woman gets divorced or is widowed, G‑d forbid, she may not re-marry while pregnant. In addition, after having a baby, a woman must wait twenty-four months before she may remarry.21 This law ensures that she will be able to nurse and nurture the baby properly—without the possibly conflicting attention demanded by a new husband who may not have the child's best interests at heart.
  • When marrying a man or woman who was divorced, one should ascertain that the previous marriage was terminated with a valid get (Jewish divorce). If a proper get has not been given, the (original) couple remains married according to Jewish law, despite any civil divorce or prolonged separation. In a case when a woman was married and did not receive a get, and then marries another man (G‑d forbid), any child born from that union is considered a mamzer (see above).
  • A man may not remarry his ex-wife if she was married to another man in the interim.22
  • A woman must wait 90 days after divorce or the death of her husband (G‑d forbid) before remarrying.23 (Similarly, a woman who converts to Judaism must wait 90 days before she may marry.24)
  • A woman who was married twice, and each of her husbands died of natural causes, may be forbidden to remarry.25 One should consult one's rabbi in this regard.
FOOTNOTES
1.

Leviticus 18:6-20.

2.

See Maimonides, Laws of Forbidden Unions ch. 2.

3.

Code of Jewish Law, Even Ha'Ezer 165:1 in the Rama.

4.

See Maimonides, ibid.

5.

Code of Jewish Law, ibid., 4:13. See there regarding the child of a niddah. See also Sha'arei Halacha U'Minhag vol. 5, pg. 264.

6.

Code of Jewish Law, ibid., 19.

7.

See ibid., siman 5.

8.

Karet means "cut off." The Talmud (Mo'ed Katan 28a) relates that a person liable for karet would die prematurely, before reaching the age of fifty. Maimonides (Laws of Teshuvah 8:1) emphasizes that being "cut off" is not the sum total of Divine retribution for such a transgression, and the person's soul is also cut off and prevented from reaching the World to Come. See also Igeret HaTeshuvah ch. 4-6 for the reason why this punishment doesn't actually actualize these days.

9.

Eruvin 19a.

10.

See Code of Jewish Law, ibid., 5:1.

11.

Ibid.

12.

Ibid., siman 6.

13.

Ibid., 7:12.

14.

Ibid., 4:19.

15.

Ibid., 7:12.

16.

Shulchan Aruch HaRav, Orach Chaim 128:53.

17.

Code of Jewish Law, ibid. 13.

18.

If the mother was invalidated by virtue of chalitzah, the child loses the priestly privileges, but must still observe the stringencies, because by Torah law he's still considered a kohen and is only disqualified by rabbinic law.

19.

Chelkat Mechokek 3 on Even Ha'Ezer 4.

20.

See Code of Jewish Law, ibid., 2:8 based on Talmud, Yevamot 64b. See also Sha'arei Halacha U'Minhag vol. 4, pg. 137.

21.

Code of Jewish Law, ibid., 13:11.

22.

Ibid., 10:1.

23.

Ibid , 13:1.

24.

Ibid. 5.

25.

Ibid., siman 9.

Rabbi Aryeh Citron was educated in Chabad yeshivahs in Los Angeles, New York, Israel and Australia. He was the Rosh Kollel of The Shul of Bal Harbour, Florida, and is now an adult Torah teacher in Surfside, Florida. He teaches classes on Talmud, Chassidism, Jewish history and contemporary Jewish law.
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Discussion (15)
September 23, 2014
Twice divorced
A regular Israelite (not a Kohen) may marry a woman who was divorced twice provided that she recieved a proper Jewish divorce from each husband (a Get).
All the best and Shana Tova.
Aryeh Citron
Surfside
September 23, 2014
Woman Twice divorced
So.. if a woman was twice married and on both cases was give the divorce, A Jewish man can't marry her?
Anonymous
Mass
February 26, 2014
Bat Cohen 2
Is there any way that the daughter of a Cohen and a non-Jewish mother could be regarded as Bat-Cohen?
If not, and she converted, would this change?
Anonymous
New York
January 25, 2012
Brother's widow
One may not marry their brother's widow in a case that their brother had children.
Such a marriage is not recognized as marriage as it involves people that are closely related. (The fact that a widow of a childless brother can marry the brother, is an exception to the rule.)
The child of such a union would be considered illegitimate.
Aryeh Citron
Surfside, Fl
January 24, 2012
Marrying brother's widow
What happen's if one marries his brother's widow although children were born out of their union?
Anonymous
Montreal, Canada
July 13, 2011
To: Seeking Clarity
A Kohen may marry a woman who had imtimacy with a man whom she is permitted to marry.
Aryeh Citron
Surfside, Fl
July 12, 2011
kohen marriage
Is it permissable for a Kohen to marry a single girl who had intimacy not in a married state but not to a prohibited male as described above?
Seeking Clarity
New York
March 20, 2011
re-marriage
is marriage permitted between a woman who was divorced, then remarried and widowed, marry a cohen?
Anonymous
Johannesburg, South africa
February 18, 2011
Kohen
I've never heard of a 'possible Kohen'; I thought Halacha was quite clear regarding Who is a Kohen. If the mother's father is not Jewish, I thought the children would not be Kohen. By your answer, the son 'might' be a Kohen. The daughter should not marry a Kohen, but you say it is 'not clear' if she is a Bat Kohen? It sounds like there is a lot of room for interpretation here, in contrast to what seemed to be clear Halacha. Thank you.
Anonymous
Orlando, FL, USA
February 16, 2011
Bat Kohen cont.
The answers to your questions:
1. the son is considered a possible Kohen. In case he is a Kohen, he should only marry a woman that a Kohen may marry.
2. You are correct that the daughter should not marry a Kohen.
3. It is not clear if she is a Bat Kohen or not.

If this is a real life situation and you need to know the Halacha in a specific situation, I would recommend that you contact a knowledgable Orthodox rabbi and share the details of the case with him.
Aryeh Citron (author)
Surfside, Fl
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