The Meaning of Reverence - Mitzvahs & Traditions

What constitutes fear? One must not stand in the place appointed for his father, in a council of elders or the place reserved for him to pray. One must not sit in the seat generally occupied by his father. One must not contradict his father's words nor corroborate his words in his presence (even to say "father's opinion appears correct"), nor call him, while alive or dead, by his name.

To what lengths should the duty of revering parents go? Even if he is attired in costly garments, presiding over a meeting, and his parents come and rend his garments, strike him on the head and spit on his face, he must not shame them but should remain silent and fear the King of kings, the Holy One, blessed is He, who has thus decreed. For if a mortal king were to issue a decree against him, even more exasperating in character, he would be powerless to rebel against it; all the more so if the author of the decree is He by Whose word the world came into being in accordance with His will [Ibid, 240:2f.; Hilchos Mamrim 6:7].

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The Meaning of Honor

Rationale of these Commandments

By Jacob Immanuel Schochet

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September 9, 2012

honoring my mother

I have a question. What if your mother is not honorable? what if your.mother has and.continues to hurt you, Lie to and about you. She steals, gossips, and causes discord in the family. Am I still commanded to honor her? Thank you

Anonymous
Elk River, Minnesota

March 11, 2012

Honoring an absent father?

I am not assuming that the mitzvah is removed based on a case by case basis; however what is the opinion when a father has been both emotionally and physically abusive? As well absent in most of someone's life? With other mitzvahs it is easier because you have a real inert desire and want to do the mitzvah but how can you stir the desire and want to honor and revere someone who has hurt you so much. Also, how do you honor and revere when the father is absent? There doesn't seem to be an opportunity to perform these if you even wanted to.

Jaacov
Medford, MA

November 27, 2011

Question

should one revere a father, when they do not do their best for their children, like not pay for their children's education, but instead do and say ill things that make their children's lives harder?

Anonymous
Tarzana, ca

January 14, 2010

Emphasis on Honoring Father and reverencing Mother

First, thank you very much for this "Honoring Parents" section and instruction. I knew it was good and nice, but not stressed by G-d in aplication in so many ways.
Ido wonder, though, when it mentioned Honoring is for the father and reverencing
of mother is emphasized, why the example given is primarily for HOW to reverence the father, and then BOTH parents equally ? I ask because it is very important to me that my mother receive from me, and thus G-d,the proper reverence and honor.Thank you.

dee
mich, usa

October 13, 2009

Honoring one's father's response

It is not for you to judge your father. He did not betray you. If he's married, he betrayed his spouse. This is something he will have to stand and answer to God for.
People, including parents, make mistakes.
Love your mother AND your father. Do not give God a reason to judge you with the resentment you are feeling.

Anonymous
Van Buren, AR

August 20, 2009

honoring one's father

I wonder what the Torah says about honoring a father who has betrayed his children by committing adultery with a non Jewish woman. To what extent does this mitzvah actually go?

Anonymous
toronto, canada