A young woman can and should have a bat mitzvah, but it should be a bat mitzvah, not a bar mitzvah. As she is celebrating being a woman, not a man...
13 Comments Posted
This is the most lucid explanation I have come across explaining the differences of roles of men and women in Judaism. My shul is going through thorws on the question of Egalitarianism. I wish I can get through to people that not being the same doesn't mean not being equal before G-d.
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Great explanation....not only that, your links for further explanations and understanding will enable those seeking a deeper or mor thorough understanding is very much appreciated.
Thanks.
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You must surely know that there are congregations where women are welcome to read Torah. I cound't read Torah---until a woman steped forward to teach me to chant Torah. All the men were to busy i guess. When the Messiah does come things will surely change with gretest respect
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I think I would resent not ever being called to read from the Torah. Can't women somehow publically read from the Torah? Maybe on Sunday or Wednesday, at a time not required by Hallachah?
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I face a similar circumstance with my son. I was raised as a secular Jew, and, like most, married a non-Jew. She is a good woman and I know that I am blessed to have her; however, she has her own culture and beliefs, and sees no need for conversion. Our son had a bris and we are raising our children Jewish, but my son can not be Bar Mitzvah at Chabad because his mother is not Jewish -- unless he converts to a religion he already practices. I am uncomfortable with the situation and, although I love Chabad, we joined a less observant congregation, so that my children may feel accepted, and so that my son may be called to the bima. I know that it isn't going to be a halacic ceremony; but, it will be another step toward, instead of away from Judaism for him -- a journey that I pray both of my children (and my wife) will continue.
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Do you need to make a party?
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What a great and open discussion of the topic.
I think it is important for all Jews to study and learn about their religion, men and women alike. My two girls and became a bat mitzvah, and my son a bar mitzvah, and each one of them are solidly entrenched in their Judaism, and each in their own unique way.
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I belong to a Reform Synagogue, where BOTH genders are treated 100% equal. Reform Judaism is the most lenient branch of Judaism, where you and your daughter can make any decisions about her special day.
Unfortunately, Orthodox Judaism is the strictest branch of Judaism, where girls and women DON'T have the same equal rights as boys and men, because the men are considered to be in charge of the synagogue, and the women are considered to be in charge of the home raising children.
Your daughter deserves the very best, and even if you belong to a Conservative Synagogue, I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make all your daughter's dreams come true!
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What I would suggest is that everyone here should try to learn Chassidus, the mystical part of the Torah. I think that this will shed a great amount of light and clarify matters.
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Are you a recruiter for the URJ or something? If you want to belong to a Reformed Synagogue, FINE.
But it is QUITE a Chutzpah to come on a website that promotes Torah and Mitzvot and the Torah way, and then suggest to someone to do something that is EXPLICITLY against what the Torah says!
I'm sure this person's daughter will be able to find plenty of meaningful ways to celebrate her becoming a Jewish adult BESIDES just copying what men do...
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Anonymous, I've learned in my life there are MANY ways to do things! This girl deserves the very best, and I'm letting her and her family know that by giving them the information they need to help her make her dreams come true!
My Reform Synagogue is under the URJ Umbrella, and I sincerely believe that a girl's extra-special day should be memorable. Mine was.
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Lisa, what you are advocating seems very cool, but doesn't have anything to do with Judaism. G-d created men and women different with their own particular advantages so they can complement each other. You are looking at the issue in a very superficial way. I think your life will change for the better if you look into Judaism (and maybe your marriage too, if you are not already single or divorced, with all due respect.)
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I've been borne and raised as a Conservative Jew, I had my Bat Mitzvah, but for some unknown reason I felt a little bit uncomfortable when I got called to the Bimah on Saturday morning but I felt special when I lit the Shabbat candles on Kabalat Shabbat in front of the entire congregation.
After I had my children I realized that what I've been looking for my entire life it was a little bit more religious more meaningful, said it I joined Chabad at the age of 36.
Anyway none of my 2 daughters had a Bat Mitzvah at the Shul, neither they were called up to the Bimah, instead we had 2 beautiful Shabatons where their friends spent the weekend at our house, they lit candles, they sang, they told stories, next day we had lunch, play games and ended up the day with Avdalah and a big party for their entire class. Although they were kind of disappointed, they said something was missing, today they grew up to be 2 wonderful young Jewish professionals, who will make their husbands very happy!
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