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The Torah's views and safeguards against sexual abuse
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To many, these laws appear extreme, over-reactive and unnecessary. A little 1st-grader can't hug her daddy's best friend? Two adult co-workers of the opposite sex can’t work alone in the office to finish an important project?
A good article though I have one correction. Rather than say, "the reason there is a prohibition is because Torah acknowledges that some people may have a natural desire for such an action, but because it is wrong and destructive, there is a law prohibiting it," the ending should say, "but because there is a law prohibiting it, therefore, it is wrong and destructive."
Why? Because the only reason it is wrong and destructive is because G-d decreed a law prohibiting it!
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...This article is well written, in the sense that it gives an in-depth but short explanation on why we are commanded to refrain from doing certain things and why G-d most importantly commands us to do these things. Please G-d you should continue to educate thank you
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Although it is quite common for Jewish apologists (and I use this term in the formal sense) to contrast the dignity of Torah and halachah to the baseness of our society at large, I find the approach tiresome and demeaning. You can make your points about halachah without having to malign the rest of society. Your comments are most ridicuclous when you try to analyze the motives of others and "laws of nature" ("Human or Beast"... ughh.) Why not just stick to what you know- which is what the halachah means to Jews, as opposed to trying to elevate Judaism by degrading others?
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I just wanted to point out, just for information's sake that, like many others I was abused (raped numerous times over a period of 4 years) by a man, the father of a friend, who never once touched me in public in anyway, good or bad. And, in fact, he barely gave me the time of day when in front of anyone. While I agree any edict in Torah likely has a foundation of safety and benefit for us all, it shouldn't make us complacent or cause us to assume that there is not still need for vigilance in protecting our children even beyond being halachically observant.
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Many people may think that because we have all these rules in place, abuses are less in our community. This is not true. Abuse is abundant in our community whether we are aware of it or not. Often we fail to see the signs because we are sure that because of these rules nothing forbidden will happen. And we also tend to overlook obvious signs when dealing with an extremely observant jew.
Let us not forget that despite the laws that G-d gave us, some people choose to break them even if they keep many other laws. Let us not ignore the abused because the abuser may be a religous person.
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Yes I also find it upsetting that society at large is considered evil. I know many non jews who have "holy" relationships. Their relationships are based on a spiritual soul connection full of love and respect and neither party is religious from any religion. There are good people everywhere in this world. and bad too even in the observant world
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Thank you a million times. B"H I divorced after 45 years of a sexually and emotionally abusive marriage. It will be a year the end of this coming Tishrei what I divorced. I am still trying to heal. I don't know and never knew what it means to make love and to share love physically, I only know what it means to be invaded and used. I very much want to get married again and have a normal relationship, yet it is so scary. Especially because emotional abuse is so insidious and also because I don't know what it means and feels like to experience normal physical love it is so frightening. But just knowing I am not alone has been extremely comforting. I live in the same city as my ex and because we have children and grandchildren we both decided not to have any bitterness or anger. At the Rabbinate he apologized to me and I forgave him, and we made our decision to be friendly rather than enemies. It has worked out B"H very well and he now remains on his best behavior.
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I not only appreciate this essay, I also appreciate the responses. I am currently challenged by a destructive spouse. This article spoke to me from El! Thank you for helping me see more clearly.Thanks Again and Again...
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