By Chana Weisberg
 | "She constantly criticizes me . Nothing I do for her is ever good enough. She has no respect for me and no gratitude for all that I provide for her. Where is the trust and loyalty she pledged when we married?"
9 Comments Posted
This is the greatest article regarding this topic I've ever read!
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A very powerful essay, it made me cry, thinking of a personal "exile", and how I have felt G-d to be distant. Thank You.
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Thank you for the wonderful cosmic insights. I'm not sure about the therapist/Tzaddik part of the metaphor- Who intervenes in the nimshal?
What about the in Halacha that it's the husband (HaShem) that must be ever so careful about his wife's sensitivities?(See Hilchos Onaah)
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I wish that my wife had read this before she started the divorce.
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The reminder of the committment and love for this couple is valuable. However, I don't read anything about the "how to". I don't think it is enough to say what to do. It is as if someone said "Go build a house", and, although the idea is clear, without the appropriate tools and skills, the house likely will not get built. Therefore, I think that the counselor's response to this couple's marital problems is incomplete.
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To Marc, Anonymous, and the Muffinator--thank you for sharing. I appreciate your comments.
To Arye--In the nimshal the tzaddik/im of every generation (from Moses onward) intervene, begging G-d for mercy rather than severity in the judgement of His people. As far as the halacha you cite about husbands (and our Eternal Husband) needing to be more sensitive to their wives, as a wife as well as a member of Klal Yisroel, I couldn't agree more! Let all husbands/Husband heed your call!
To anonymous--I'm sorry about your divorce.
To Dorris--your point is very valid. First, it is necessary to uncover/discover the initial feelings of love and respect. But the next step is the "how to" tools in dealing with the particular problems of the relationship. I'm open to suggestions from therapists, counsellors or regular folk in the "how to" tools that you would advise for this couple, which may very well be incorporated into an upcoming article--The Marriage Counsellor, part 2, 2nd Session. :)
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Extremely clever and meaningful.
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I have been struggling with a recent onset of seizures. Each time it happens it gets worse. The last time ended me up in the hospital.
I am seeking professional attention at a great hospital in the Philly area that specializes in this problem. During my first trip to the hospital for tests and consultation with the top neurologist, my wife expected to bring my son (who is home schooled) and bring him to a library where they could both study while I was in the hospital. I felt like I was "hitching a ride" and told her no and this was not a class trip. She was angry, but honored my wishes.
After the test, I am in the examining room with my wife after a complete examination and seconds before the doctor walks in, her cell phone goes off. (it is posted on every wall that cells phones are prohibited, but she goes by her own rules).
Not only does she take the call, she keeps talking on and on until it was actually difficult for me and the doctor to talk.
Am I nuts, or do I need a Lawyer
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