The Kaddish
 | Text of the Kaddish... The History of Kaddish... The Function of the Kaddish... The Kaddish as Education... The Significance of Kaddish...
While this article is excellent, it leaves a major gap vis-a-vis women and the recitation or rather her non-obligation to recite kaddish. Is there an article that deal with this subject and what, if anything, can a woman do to replace this time honored ritual?
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The issue of women reciting kaddish is still a matter of contention among respected rabbis today. Some will tell a woman that she can say the kaddish. Others point to the story of Rabbi Akiva--which is the basis behind the custom of granting the bereaved to say kaddish--as strong evidence that this is a male thing--otherwise, why didn't Rabbi Akiva look for any child, why just a son? They are also concerned with matters of modesty when a woman turns up every day at shul with the men. And also, what will happen to men when they know their sister can take care of it so why bother? A little understanding of male mentality will tell you where this leads to.
You can see from my article Women in the Synagogue that I would lean towards this latter opinion.
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for how long is kaddish said for a mother?
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Kaddish is said for eleven months for a mother or father.
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My wife's sister passed away at the age of 2 over twenty years ago. Is my brother in law required to say kaddish on her yartzeit? What about going to Yizkor? Both of my parents-in-law are still alive.
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thank you for your guidance
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I go from time to time to visit my parents and will be going here shortly. This is the time of year I say Kaddish. I usually say the Kaddish prayer and pick something else out of the Siddur to read. What prayers are appropriate to say~? How often can a woman go to the cemetery~? It is difficult to go, so I don't go often, but do go during the High Holidays with the congregation. Thank you.
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Hi
It is appropriate to say psalms (tehillim). You can do one of two things or both:
1. Say the psalm that applies to the ages of your parents today. So if you parents were 80, you would say psalm 81. That means your parents would be in their 81st year.
2. Psalm 119 is divided into the entire Hebrew alphabet, with each verse corresponding to another letter. You say each letter of your parent's names. So, if your father's name was moshe ben chaim, you would say verse for each letter of his name.
You can go to the cemetery whenever you want - there's no restriction. But sometimes, instead of going, you can also give charity in their merit, in their name, or do another mitzvah to honor them. It is not appropriate to go to the cemetery when pregnant.
I hope this helps you - both physically and spiritually.
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A thorough elucidation of the Jewish laws and customs relating to death and mourning, from the moment of death to post-mourning practices and procedures.
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