By Jay Litvin
 | There is one benefit in feeling stupid, at least when you're old: Compassion
20 Comments Posted
Many people feel the way you do. My thought after hearing so many people complaining about Hebrew including myself is that it's a Dvar Hashem especially for those from North America who typically only know one language.
I have a solution though. All we have to do is hire a few people to come up with a SRC system for Hebrew which includes text, audio and video.
We need good teachers too.
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How timely that I read this article immediately after my son received a rejection to a college he wanted to transfer to. He has always had a hard time in school and his first 2 years of college were no exception . I appreciated the comments about self esteem and I have to work to insure that I don't devalue the wonderful person my son is. IT is hard, especially when most Jewish kids are scholars, valedictorians, etc. I have to help him find his place in the world, especially the Jewish world.
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Wow! Such uninhibited honesty. What an incredible inspiration to read the works of Jay Litvin. These words give one courage to face the trials of learning something new at any age... to struggle and feel less than is not exclusive to the young, at times we all feel "stupid" but not letting that feeling emcompass our drive to succeed.
Coming back the next day with determination, knowing that real effort will be rewarded, (sooner or later) is easier said then done. The article exempliflies the sensitivity of a man who, from his own feelings of inferiority became more compassionate. He may have had difficulty learning Hebrew, but he was a man among men and a role model for many.
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Maybe to save a few people some pain, let me make a point:
Feeling stupid can be quite relative. The scholar has maybe been humiliated on the sports field, the math genius can't buy a date, the valedictorian will struggle with a lifetime weight problem.
Talent is given out on a bell-shaped curve. Many Jews highly value "scholarlyness", but in every endeavor, only one will be first, one second and somebody has to be last.
Compassion is important, so is examing and re-examining our values. Is the brilliant scholar worth anything if he is selfish, self-absorped, rude?
Jay was a lousy Hebrew student, but he probably sacrificed his life for the sake of kindness to others. The only thing "stupid" about him was maybe him even considering he was stupid.
How many of us will continue to touch others in a positive way after we leave this life?
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My son is going through Chemo for Lymphomo, and my heart goes out to his family. One may struggle with Hebrew (As I do at 56) but this does not stop me studying Torah.
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Spectacular. As a teacher and a mother, I suggest that this article should be read over and over.
Jay Litvin's honesty expresses his true self esteem. it is so refreshing.
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I also am learning Hebrew and Russian and Mandarin Chinese and I am older than you. You always feel stupid at the beginninng
That is because your learning curve has not adapted. Pressure and success are the keys to success. I have five graduate degrees and am considered an expert in several difficult fields. How did this happen? I used to do something for the U.S. government and World Bank and maybe a few other countries where I had to beccome an expert in a different fiield every month. In order to survive, I adapted so that I rad quickly and systematize quickly. The latter is the clue to language learning. Also, you have to keep a high energy level even if you have to force yourselff. Soon, it becomes a habit. Good luck. When I worrked in the U.S. I used to give seminars to inspire corporate workers and I have never found anyone who cannot just about anything they want with inspiration.
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Suggestion: volunteer in a kindergarden/preschool where you are FORCED to speak hebrew to the kids. Their level isn't so high but it's a good basic start.
One of the messages of teaching the learning disabled is that different individuals learn in different ways, and it's the teacher's, or the student's, responsibility to find out how the student best learns, and proceed accordingly.
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As a teacher who concentrates on working with "at-risk" teens , I can say ... from lots of experience .. that the writer has gotten the concept down pat !
This insightful and sensitive essay should be required reading in every teacher preparation program in he world ,,, and should be included in the paycheck of every practicing educator ... every week!
GREAt job at capturing the anguish of "not gettin" it in any class !
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I was looking to find Rashi's commentary on Isaiah on the Chabad.org website and came across Jay Litvin's delightful article on the pain (and pleasure) of learning Hebrew. My 61 year old younger sister with a grade 8 education, decided after her retirement to learn Hebrew. I had learned Hebrew back in the late 60's in University and have maintained a fair reading knowledge of it over the years. So I became her "private" tutor for the course. I learned much Hebrew in the process. Knowledge of Hebrew is a great JOY and a BLESSING, but the pathway of learning it, is often fraught with vexation and self-doubt.
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Although this is not an article about ADD, I can fully understand the dificulties on learning another lanague. At 50 years of age, I still have difficulties davening in Hebrew and use children's primers to improve my profiency. I do suffer from ADD. I spent countless hours standing in classroom corners and as many under my teacher's desk where i was kicked and prodded with her foot solely because of my learning difficulties. Tainted and abused by my parents, fellow students and teachers has had a lasting effect of insecurity and shyness. No individual should have to be tormented and abused for a learning dissibility.
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This is a great article! It shows people how they can put themselves in someone else's shoes by relating a situation they are going through or already went through, to someone else's. Instead of judging others, we all should be able to (or at least try to) ,put ourselves in their shoes and see the situation from their perspective. Young people can also do this.
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What great symbolism and metaphors you have used. As a college educated, successful corporate runaway, I really relate to what you were feeling. At this exact moment to be more precise. Thanks!
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Unbeleivable! This has been such a huge problem for me, and it's so gratifying to hear the problem discussed in such a stark, honest way. Yasher Koach!
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everybody feels bad for people who feel stupid. but what about the people who are too smart? what about the students who are forced to sit in class when they know and understand everything the teacher is going to say? why doesn't anyone feel bad for them?
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The problem here that the author is adressing is the intense feelings of inferiority that a person feels when they struggle and work hard but still do poorly. Every test that comes back with a bad grade, every correction is a huge blow to the person's self esteem. While sitting in a class with a complete understanding of the material is tedious at worst and almost a blow to the person's intelligence (and yes, perhaps self-esteem as well) it just doesn't compare to the dumb student who works so hard for something out of their control. What do you prefer--praise or critism? Even if the poor student is not openly critiqued by the teacher, the poor student generally suffers from acute feelings of inferiority and "what am I doing wrong?" The smart student may praise themselves or be constantly praised by the teacher. One speeds through the racetrack of academic accomplishment and the other one constantly falters. Who do you feel bad for now?
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is 16 years old and just dropped out of one of the many schools she has been to. I must admit that I did not encourage her but did not entirely discourage her, just gave her options. But I never looked at things like the perspective of the author. Thank you.
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There is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel with teenagers
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Knowing exactly what you're going through -- from when my husband attended the ulpan, from my own research, and from being a teacher for 25 years -- I have a few questions/suggestions. Try approaching just one day as if you were going to a concert. Do you have to have the sheets of music in front of you? Of course not. Listen for a while, even with your eyes closed, to start to get the music of the language. Start over if you have to, Kitah Aleph, with this attitude. You are not 10, as you said, and you know you're not stupid. Take control of it. Be your own teacher as well as the ulpan's student. I have my Ph.D. in second language acquisition (did my research in Israel on ulpan methodology), and would be happy to walk you through this. You are so articulate in English, you obviously have a facility with language. To live in Israel, you've got to do this. It takes time. One "a-ha" moment I had came from a remarkable ulpan teacher at Ulpan Akiva. There was a high school student who was treated as "special ed" by all the other teachers, and virtually ignored because his answers were inevitably wrong. One day Nurit, a substitute teacher (on Sabbatical) walked into the room, and in one day this student was performing and learning. I asked her how she did this. She replied, "Everyone talks -- whether they have a disability or not. The teacher's obligation is to find out how the student learns." (I liked the comment of the woman from Tzfat who suggested spending time in a kindergarten. They'd love you, and you'd learn!)
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Jay Litvin was born in 1944, so this article about his struggles in Ulpan at age 53 must have been written in 1997. Sadly enough, he died of non-Hodgkins lymphoma in April 2004. People posting encouraging comments to Jay in 2007 were three years too late. If you read Jay Litvin's articles from 2003-04, the last winter of his life when he was struggling not with learning Ivrit but with terminal illness, it puts this 1997 article into perspective. In fact, it puts most of our everyday problems into perspective (don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff). This of course is not to minimize the very real heartache of young people fighting learning disabilities and not succeeding in school. It's just extremely sad reading these 2007 comments knowing that Jay Litvin never had a chance to read them.
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