The Meaning of Honor
 |
11 Comments Posted
This is wrong the word. Honor means respect, not I want to be your servant.
|
right, i agree; "everyone must bear their own burdens". I like what the Shulkan Aruch said that one shouldn't be angry at them.
|
Even if you used the word respect - you should Respect them enough that if they are in real need that you would not leave their care to a total stranger who might abuse them.
We should follow G-d's example- His love is an everlasting love-no matter what we do. If we really love someone-we care for them in a real time of need.
BUT...to be totally just- G-d will not put up with those that would take him for granted and I don't believe He would want us to either.
That is when you do all you can then put them into His hands and let Him take care if it.
|
My wife and I are conservative Jews and our son was Bar Mitzvah'd in our conservative synagogue.
At age 34, he began serious Torah study, joined an orthodox synagogue, and now is Shomer Shabbos along with his wife ( a Jew by choice) and our grandchildren.
While we respect and are genuinely proud of their commitment and the values they instill in their children, neverthless, we feel alienated from their lives.
Because we don't keep kosher, they don't eat in our home and we're seldom invited to theirs - every Shabbos he has guests for meals. We're given limited opportunities to spend other time with our grandchildren.
My wife and I have joined the orthodox synagogue primarilly to be with our grandchildren more frequently, yet still maintain membership in the conservative synagogue.
Sometimes we feel treated as second class citizens for not adhering to their standards of observance. . . we're secure and comfortable with ours.
We love them dearly ! Any suggestions?
|
They most likely feel that they are just protecting their ideals and their "state of cleanliness" I don;t think they are treating you that way out of unkindness even though it ends up being unkind.
If it were me, I would pray for their hearts to be softened toward you. Heaven can move in ways that we can not always on our own!
And has for wisdom when you speak with them so that they will see your side of things.
|
My father is a genuinely decent man who prays every day. He has a good heart. Yet he has never said more than two sentences to me in my life. There has not been guidance, concern, discussion, counsel, understanding, help, or advice. There has been no preparation for the problems of life, no warnings, admonitions, or the like.
My mother "loves" me but has picked fights with my wife even as she is dying of cancer. She has always been self-absorbed in her own emotional problems while generally causing consternation. She has been sometimes physically abusive, frequently verbally abusive and emotionally abusive.
I have struggled with this commandment for the better part of my adult life. Now my son is facing a major life threatening crises and my parents are not there for me emotionally as they have often been absent in my moments of crises.
"Honor thy father and Mother." I feel lilke I am losing my mind as a consequence of the dysfunctionality of my father and mother.
|
Mordecai... Quote: "Honor thy father and Mother." I feel lilke I am losing my mind as a consequence of the dysfunctionality of my father and mother."
I have felt that way my self - my mother has serious mental illnesses and my dad had luekimia for almost 3 yrs.
My greatest comfort usually comes from the Psalms but the one that gives me the most even to this day is from Deuteronomy 31:8.
Shalom, my brother! You have a sister who is praying for you.
|
katee;
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Interesting that you should suggest Deut. 31:8 which states that G-D will not forsake me. One of my favorite Psalms is 22 which asks why G-D has forsaken me.
This of course is followed by the famous 23rd Psalm which seems to me to be strategically juxtapositioned after the somewhat harsh 22nd Psalm. Thus succor follows the storm.
I pray each day but not with the "joy" of the Chassidim but with the crying that Isaac Luria felt was indispensible.
In any case I am a work in progress neither holier than thou nor self-deprecating.
|
I believe to honor they Father and Mother means to know they Father and Mother.
I have wrestled with how people are to honor their parents when the parents performed the most horrific actions against their children.
I believe you should learn about your parents and come to know your parents, and know your parents’ parents, and on and on. Know your family history, your family tree. Learn how your ancestors treated one another. Learn how they lived and what was happening in the world during their lifetime.
By doing this you will know how, and come to understand why, your parents behave as they do. By understanding them, you may come to forgive them.
Ultimately, what greater gift of honor could you give your parents than understanding them and knowing them.
Know your parents, know where you have come from, and you know yourself… honor.
|
This topic is very helpful. I would like to see something done for the children to understand.
|
I shall post this on the back of my daughters door hoping she will read this.
|
|
| |
|
LOGIN
ASK THE RABBI
Read this article
