Why Men Drink on Purim

Right now I should be writing about Purim, but I can't. I'm way out of my depth. I'm a man, and Purim is a woman thing. Connecting with "the woman in me" won't help either -- I tried talking with her, but I didn't understand her very well. So I'm left with the man in me, who remains mystified by the whole thing.

The first thing I don't understand is how women took over Purim so completely. I mean, it's true that a woman, Esther, saved the Jewish people, recorded the story in the "Scroll of Esther," and got the annual festival established. But didn't Mordechai also have a part in it? So why is it just "The Scroll of Esther"? Sure, Esther deserves lots of credit. Still, they could have called it "The Scroll of Mordechai and Esther"! Or, at the very least, "The Scroll of Esther and Mordechai." Why is the great Jewish leader and sage pushed over to the sidelines?

In fact, the way I read the story, Esther was the mover and shaker of the physical events, while Mordechai was the driving force behind the spiritual developments. It was Esther who risked her life to barge in on the King, get him jealous of Haman, and have him issue the new decree giving the Jews the right to defend themselves against his first decree. But why did Esther succeed in her mission? Because Mordechai roused the Jews to prayer and repentance. Wasn't that the true cause of the salvation?

I mean, isn't that what being Jewish is all about -- focusing on the spiritual? Look at Chanukah -- lots of ferocious warring and toppling Syrian war elephants and triumphant victories, but it's the spiritual aspect that eclipses everything else. The physical stuff hardly figures in the celebration.

Well, says the woman in me, you've got your Chanukah, we've got our Purim. Chanukah is about acting Jewish, and Purim is about being Jewish.

But isn't that what being Jewish is? Acting a certain way?

That's what Antiochus thought, says my inner woman. Antiochus said: "If you act Jewish, we'll kill you. If you keep Shabbat or circumcise your children, you're an enemy of the state. If you behave like a Greek, you're fine. Be a Hellenist Jew. Or a Jewish Hellenist. Whatever you want." But Haman didn't care what kind of a Jew you were. If you were a Jew, he was going to kill you. It's not what you do or think or believe, but what you are.

Haman? Haman is your authority on how to be a Jew?

Not how to be a Jew. It's the being we're celebrating this week, not the howing.

See what I mean? I'll never understand women. I think I'll just get drunk.