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There are many parents who present themselves to their kids as if perfect. Such parents never apologize for anything because, in their opinion, they are never wrong. At the same time, they may be very hard on their children... 7 Comments Posted
This is so right! I was brought up to think that my parents were never wrong and I felt frustrated when I would see that they weren't correct. It taught me that I should be perfect and when I wasn't I would beat up on myself.
Today I apologize to my kids so they can learn that it's o.k. to make mistakes and own the responsibility. They are still young, so I'm not sure if the experiment will work, but I sure hope they turn out better adjusted than me.
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How about this as a response...
You think I scream too much?
YOU THINK I SCREAM TOO MUCH?????
I HAVE NOT SCREAMED TOO MUCH!!!!!
OK, NOW, I'M SCREAMING TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HEAR THE DIFFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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We may not be in the same boat, but we are surely in the same small pond.
But my child is older, and I can tell you that yes it works!
Even better, when they see small mistakes apologized for and then quickly forgotten they learn this too, and they learn to not make mountains out of molehills.
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Yes, when we are wrong. So many times we makes mistakes, short tempered, angry because things are not going are way. And who do we lash at? The ones that we love! I have learned not to make the same mistakes as my parents when it came to parenting. We were not allowed to speak unless spoken too, whipped for any and all reasons. My belief is to discipline a child and train a child so that they will not end up in jail! But when I am wrong, I do apologize. When my children are wrong in their behavior and actions, they have to apologize too! It makes you more human! And by this, we are closer in our relationship!
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I should apologize for my bad joke in answer to this question earlier. Inb truth, it is very vauable to apologize to our kids for all the reasons above. Also, I think it's when we see our own worst qualities in our kids that we tend to lash out. Apologizing to them may help us forgive our own mistakes as well.
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Yes this works....Sorry is as sorry does...a parent should follow through with good resolutions for the future...but I think a lot of the pain can be removed from a stinging "parenting mistake" if the parents shows the child that they regret it.
and contrary to what some believe, it strengthens the child's respect for the parent rather than the opposite..
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B"H
Perhaps you could do a piece on Should Children Apologize to their Parents. In this day and age when children are not taught proper Jewish values like 'kibud av veaim' (honoring parents) with all its ramifications and there is the fear of social justice which may take the side of the child over the parent - parents sometimes feel the need to apologize for something the KID DID THAT WAS WRONG.
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