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Why did G-d Create Bullies?

He looks at me with such a wistful expression in his clear blue eyes. His young shoulders are sagging and he appears to be carrying the world's burdens.

"It is so hard to have a bully in my class," my son states sadly. "The bully always wants to be at the center of attention. He bosses us all around. Every game that we play, we have to follow everything that he orders. And all the other kids are afraid of him."

His expression is so sad; but I am even more saddened that at the young age of ten, my son has already come to accept bullying as an unchangeable fact of life.


There are "little" bullies—like the aggressive and dominating boy in my son's fifth grade class; a situation that we're trying to deal with so that he need not come home so sad, day after day.

But then there are the world's "big" bullies—those who take pleasure in intimidating and mistreating those that are smaller or weaker or in less influential positions than them.

Though bullies are a universal scourge, as the Jewish people, we've suffered perhaps more than all others from the bully phenomenon, we've shed rivers of tears over these bullies. From Pharaoh in Egypt, who mercilessly slaughtered our infants, till today, there have been Hitler-like tyrants throughout the generations, who rule through intimidation and mistreatment.

Which makes me wonder about the source of bullying—where did the concept of such inequality begin?

The Talmud (Chulin 60b) records an incident that happened on one of the first days of creation that I've always found intriguing:

The moon said to G‑d: "Sovereign of the Universe, can two kings share a single crown?"

G‑d replied: "Go and make yourself smaller."

"Sovereign of the Universe," she said to Him, "because I made a proper claim before You, am I to make myself smaller?"

…On seeing that the moon would not be consoled, the Holy One said, "Bring an atonement for Me for making the moon smaller."

Initially the sun and moon were equal in size and luminescence. But the moon pointed out a fundamental flaw in creation--how can two "kings" equally dominate the same territory? G‑d commands the moon to make herself smaller, implying that one luminary needs to be bigger. The moon complains that this decision is unjust. G‑d agrees, but instead of remedying the situation asks that we offer a sin-offering every month to atone for this injustice.

I've always wondered at this. What is the message of making the moon smaller and why would G‑d, the perfect Being, need a sin offering for diminishing her size?

But perhaps the lesson of the waning moon is that G‑d is providing us with the potential for growth through our rises and declines, through our ability to be givers or receivers.

We live in a world of inequality where some of us will be stronger, richer, smarter, better connected and more influential, powerful or charismatic. How will we use these positions of superiority? How will we treat those beneath us?

And, will we seize our descents or positions of weakness as opportunities to reach higher? To gain a new perspective of compassion, sensitivity and faith?

But even with these newfound insights and spiritual gains, the times when we are down are hard and (at least from our perspective) so unfair.

To this G‑d says, "I see your tears. I hear your cries. I empathize with your pain. And despite its necessity, because I diminished you in size, and put you through the suffering of inequality, I will bring an atonement offering."

G‑d also promises us that there will come a time when humanity will evolve and realize the responsibility of these positions of strength and realize, too, the benefits gained from being a receiver. And at that time, the moon will regain her former stature and shine with the same luminescence as the sun.

G‑d makes it our duty and our mission to get us to that period.

We do so by not allowing bullies to create suffering and injustices in our world.

Big ones. And even little ones.


Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Apr 29, 2012
Seriously sick of bullies
Try working with a bunch of women! The backbiting, the undermining, the accusations, the unkindnesses, ..it is totally ridiculous! I just lost my job because a woman lied about me to the boss and since I was new, they did not even care what actually happened. When you work hard and are nice to people and do a good job, it is hard to accept that someone just wants control of an area and will do anything to maintain that control. Where is G-d in all this? I am asking. Bullies create vunerability because they have no scruples and will do anything. How can good people protect themselves?
Posted By Anonymous, Coatesville, PA

Posted: May 22, 2009
NOT ALL BULLIES ARE INSECURE
It is a common myth to think that bullies are secretly insecure and suffer from feelings of inferiority. This is true of a minority. (See Type #6 in my book AWARENESS). But a large majority of bullies actually suffer from feelings of grandiosity and excessively high self-esteem. These self-promoting narcissists (see Type #3 and #8) are not to be pitied! They are dangerous.
Posted By Miriam Adahan, Chicago, Il

Posted: May 22, 2009
due to adversity we grow tougher & wiser !
At school i was often fighting - not necessarily bullying,but often i bullied my Jewish pal whom was far too vocal ,until 1 day he retaliated & beat the hell out of me.He was now empowered because he had been silently taught Karate by his older Jewish pals ,unbeknown to me.Today he is by far the most successful materially amongst our whole year of scholars.So it depends on how we react and what our attitude is ,when faced with a quest to overcome adversity that makes a boy become a man & to come of age (13) without any fear,except for G-d !
Posted By malkiel velvel, Durban, SA

Posted: May 19, 2009
Bullying...
I loved this explanation of the Sun and the Moon, yet it doesn't resolve the concrete problem of a young child who is suffering the bullying.
Bullies are extremely insecure people; bullying is their mask that hide a "small and wounded self." I remember an incident when I was in 4th grade, a bully stopped bullying when the parents of the bullied child squarely confronted the bully. The bully was shamed and changed behavior.
Of course... times were different then.
Still, I would suggest that the insecure child be confronted.
Posted By Glori, Tenafly , NJ

Posted: May 19, 2009
TRANSFORMING THE PAIN
I have a new book, still in manuscript form, which Feldheim Co. will, hopefully publish in the near future. It is called THE QUEEN'S PALACE GUARDS. It features a game I played with my own children to help them deal with bullies. I'll be happy to send the book in e-mail form, sans the darling pictures, to readers: emett@netvision.net.il
I offered my children 3 bits of advice: 1) validate the painful feelings, 2) use the imagination in creative ways (like imagining standing like Palace Guards and getting a reward from Hashem) and 3) when the child refuses to return the hurt with a hurt, he dedicates this victory of silence to someone's refuah shlaimah (complete recovery)....
Posted By Miriam Adahan

Posted: May 19, 2009
The Opposition to the Bully
Thank you for raising a most pertainent issue. As a child I suffered greatly from bullying at school, so I empathise with your son's situation. He is not yet strong enough to put aside his emotional response and to replace it with a more objective approach to his problem. I know that although "everyone is afraid of the bully", to avoid a repetition of this situation he must be fought against. The alternatives are to accept him or to run away from him, both of which are unsatisfactory.

In our adult world we need more social justice from the business bullies and monopolists, but to get this also necessitates a fight. Sometimes we think that it is better to accept or run away from the situation and by our religious approach to life we sometimes avoid the need to oppose the problem. The present threat of nuclear war due to Iranian refinement of uranium is a matter from which we cannot escape nor accept. Like children we must learn to fight for our rights.
Posted By David Chester, Petach Tikva, israel

Posted: May 19, 2009
B'H
So well written. Thank you
Posted By Inge Reisinger, Germany

Posted: May 18, 2009
can you give an example of this....
We do so by not allowing bullies to create suffering and injustices in our world.
Posted By Lisa, Princeton, NJ


 



By Chana Weisberg   More by this authors...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Chana Weisberg is a writer, editor and lecturer. She authored several books, including her latest, Tending the Garden: The Unique Gifts of the Jewish Woman. She has served as the dean of several women’s educational institutes, and lectures internationally on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul.

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