I am about to give the lecture of my life. Or at least, of my life up to this point. I was given notice months ago; I will be speaking in front of thousands. I will be lecturing on the subject that I am an expert on. I have utilized every resource and prepared an adequate speech. The opening line is really funny. The closing statement really inspiring. I have rehearsed in front of the mirror, behind the pulpit and in my wife’s ears. I did all I can for my lecture to come out perfect. Yet, I’m nervous. What if I mess up? What if I forget a line? What if my jokes are not funny? What if my message is dull? What if I leave here and besides polite applause I haven’t influenced anyone?

I am about to chant Kol Nidrei on Yom Kippur eve. For months I listened to recordings, rehearsed and trained my voice. I wrap my Talit around my head and think about the hundreds that are waiting to be uplifted and inspired. Years of experience and score of performances. Yet, I’m nervous. What if I mess up? What if I forget a note? What if my voice doesn’t carry? What if my song doesn’t inspire? What if I leave here and besides polite smiles I haven’t impacted anyone?

I am about to present a grant proposal to the Foundation’s board. I researched, I calculated, I know the need, I know the problems, I know the solutions. The future of my organization lies in the minds and hearts of the Board members. I have chosen the right words; I know I can convey my passion for what I do. I know I can convince them of the great need. Yet, I’m nervous. What if I mess up? What if I forget a detail? What if I can’t answer a question? What if my plea doesn’t inspire? What if I leave here and besides polite handshakes I haven’t influenced anyone?

"My L-rd, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare Your praise"- Psalms 51:17

Our sages spent years creating the perfect prayer. The accumulated wisdom of the 120 Men of the Great Assembly brought to fruition the blessings that temporarily replace the daily sacrifices offered in the Holy Temple. The power of holiness invested in them inspired them to create a series of prayers that include all the possible words man can utter to G-d. The final product, the Shemone Esrei, is recited trice daily by millions of Jewish people for the past 2000 years. We ask G-d for health, for wisdom, for sustenance, for peace, for finding oneself. But are we saying it right? Is there a guarantee that it is going to work? Will we be humbled by the G-dly words?

We truly don’t have control over the outcome of our actions. Inasmuch as we prepare a speech, a song or a presentation, the impact it will have on people is up to G-d. No matter how perfect our prayers are, they are limited to what a human can accomplish. And humans can’t control outcomes. So before I pray I read a verse of Psalms, to introduce G-d to my prayer. Before I read the holy blessings of the Shemone Esrei I ask G-d to speak through me. I ask G-d to take whatever it is that I am uttering and do with it what He wants. I humble myself by reminding my heart and my brain that I am standing before G-d, and must put my ego and my expectations aside.

"My L-rd, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare Your praise"- Psalms 51:17

As I approach the podium, as I intone the Kol Nidrei, as I enter the conference room, I pray: G-d, let Your will be done through me. G-d, I did all that was humanly possible to create the perfect receptacle for your blessing, now I will step aside and let You do the speaking, I will let You do the singing, I will let You give the presentation.

I have no doubt of the outcome.