Contact Us
Let's Go For Coffee

How to Win a Parent’s Heart

How to Win a Parent’s Heart


Dear Readers,

This past week, a friend shared with me that an acquaintance had unexpectedly reached out to her son and did a special favor for him. Throughout his teenage years, my friend has always had a testy relationship with that particular child. Nevertheless, when she heard about the sweet gesture, done so unpredictably by this acquaintance, she felt extremely grateful to him for befriending her son and showing him that warmth.

Now, every time she mentions this individual in any of our conversations, it is with a special tenderness, admiration and genuine respect—all because of one small act, done for her son.

My friend is no exception. I am sure most parents feel that way. Indeed, the way to a mother’s heart is through being kind to her child.

When someone does something positive for my children, I feel extremely grateful. You may have angered me in the past or I may feel resentful towards you for whatever misdeed, but if you do a favor for one of my children, that will erase it all. Conversely, you and I can be best of friends, but if you act unkindly toward my child, consider the friendship over!

I was thinking about this, and it occurred to me that this is not only true with human parents, but also with our Creator. Treat G‑d’s children compassionately, and He’ll forgive and overlook your own misdeeds. But malign His children—act nastily or condescendingly towards them—and you will have hurt the very core of your relationship with G‑d.

So when you think you are “standing up for G‑d” by judging His children, think again. G‑d doesn’t need us to serve as His judge and jury. Instead, He wants us to feel and spread kindness, compassion and empathy for all His children, even those who sometimes “test” Him.

We are now in the period of the “Three Weeks,” mourning the destruction of the Temple, which was caused due to baseless hatred. Now is the perfect time for us to focus on love.

Let’s extend ourselves and act especially kind to G‑d’s children . . . and we will have found the secret path to G‑d’s “heart.”

Chana Weisberg

Editor, TJW

Chana Weisberg is the editor of She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of five popular books.
© Copyright, all rights reserved. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with's copyright policy.
Join the Discussion
Sort By:
1000 characters remaining
Shaindel Ny August 2, 2017

Chana, as always beautifuly said. But it's very hard to pay with love to these who does not really deserve it. There is my struggle below and I hope you can help me to find that LOVE: I had a friend (or I thought I had a friend) for 20 years; we talked often, partied together, shared life. Then my sister whom she knew very well passed away and my friend disappeared for 8 moths. She did not come for funeral; she visited once while I sat shiva. And that's all. She reach out only to invite me to her birthday (8 months later). How should I find love for my friend at this time? Was she not my real friend for 20 years? Please help! Reply

Charcoal July 18, 2017

Well said, and a blessing for all those who truly live it! Love, Charcoal Reply

Bracha Goetz Baltimore July 18, 2017

Beautiful! Reply

Anonymous jerusalem July 18, 2017

the best and most accurate advice for those who wish to hasten our redemption

yashar koach!! Reply

Anonymous U.K. July 17, 2017

Spreading love is the single one attribute that mends the broken world and brings about light in the darkest parts of G-d's creation.
Thank you Chana for bringing this into sharp focus. A mother's loving heart towards her child/children, regardless of whatever setback the relationship suffered, none can deny - such love! Reply

Often we need a break from our daily routine. A pause from life to help us appreciate life.

A little pat on the back to let us know when we're on track. A word of encouragement to help us through those bleak moments and difficult days.

Sometimes, we just yearn for some friendship and camaraderie, someone to share our heart with. And sometimes we need a little direction from someone who's been there.

So, take a short pause from the busyness of your day and join Chana Weisberg for a cup of coffee.

Chana Weisberg is the author of Tending the Garden: The Unique Gifts of the Jewish Woman and four other books. Weisberg is a noted educator and columnist and lectures worldwide on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul.
Recent Posts
Blog Archive