Mitzvahs & Traditions
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Editor's Note: I wrote this piece upon learning of the horrific murder of nine-year-old Leiby Kletzky, of blessed memory, in Brooklyn, New York. May his family be comforted, and may Leiby's soul find peace and blessing.
When I was in college, my friend’s younger brother was shot to death one night over a beeper. Fifteen years old, and shot in the back, at a party filled with kids, because of a $100 gadget.
I was devastated. The pain, emptiness and horror that his loss created was something that will forever stay with me. I was there for the funeral and for the mourning, and close to the family during most of the trial. Unfortunately, due to technicalities in the legal system (the murderer confessed before he was read his rights, therefore his statement was inadmissible in a court of law, and he then pleaded not guilty, etc.) he ended up receiving a slap on the wrist for taking a beautiful, innocent, young life.
The pain, emptiness and horror that his loss created was something that will forever stay with meWe recently had my twenty-year high school reunion. While I was unable to attend, some of my friends were there. They updated me on what everyone was doing. And that included Marc’s family. No one had forgotten what had happened. His older brother, our classmate, was now a successful professor, happily married, with two children and a third on the way. And they mentioned that his young son is named Marc.
In Judaism, when we hear about a death, the response we are to give is: Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Blessed is the True Judge. Over the years I have struggled with this response. I really have. There are times it seems appropriate, other times when it is hard to swallow.
When my elderly grandfather passed on, I had no problem reciting these words. He had lived a full life. He had been there for his children and his grandchildren, and even had the merit to meet some of his great-grandchildren. This is how life is supposed to go. We, the great-grandchildren, mourning the loss of our elder. Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
But what about when it is the great-grandparents mourning their great-grandchildren? When it is a three-month-old baby in Israel with her throat slashed by a terrorist, or a two-year-old orphaned on his birthday in Mumbai, or the siblings of a nine-year-old brother in Brooklyn. And the list goes on.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Blessed is the True Judge.
It is hard to say. But really, is there anything else to say?
When things make sense, when things go in the natural order, it is easy to leave G‑d out of it. But when they don’t—when they tragically and incomprehensibly go in a different direction—as hard as it may be, there is only one thing we can rely on. That this is not natural. This is not something that makes sense. This is only something that our Creator can understand. And we have no option but to trust that somehow, some way, there is a reason and meaning to this.
It is hard to say. But really, is there anything else to say?One of the most powerful moments in my journey in Judaism came about in a conversation regarding the murder of fifteen-year-old Marc. I was in Israel, studying for the year, and had become much more connected to my Judaism. I was loving the learning, the meaning, the lifestyle. But I just couldn’t get past my difficulty in connecting to a G‑d who would allow tragedy to happen. A G‑d who allowed Marc to be shot in the back, devastating family and friends forever.
I sat there one night debating this with a friend. I emphatically said that there was no way I wanted to live in a world, or believe in a G‑d, that would allow an innocent child to be callously murdered. My friend looked me right in the eye and responded that she didn’t want to live in a world where that excuse for a human being, that murderer, was more powerful than her G‑d.
It hit me. It was so true. I also don’t want to live in a world where my G‑d is not greater than these monsters. Does it help me understand why these things happen? No. But who said we can ever understand? We can’t. But we can believe that despicable tragedies will not go unpunished. That they will not be forgotten. And that one day—G‑d willing, immediately—we will no longer suffer like this, for our exile will be over.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Blessed is the True Judge.
By Sara Esther Crispe
Sara Esther Crispe, a writer, inspirational speaker and mother of four, is the Director of Communications for the Chabad on Campus International Foundation. Prior to that she was the editor of TheJewishWoman.org.
The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org.
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Discussion (52)
August 17, 2011
Seekin the answers
We are human; there's a limit to our understanding. G-d endowed us with intelligence and curiosity and, as a species, we continue to discover new things about the complex and wonderful universe in which we find ourselves.
Discovering the nature and reason for evil, however, is not something that can be done in a laboratory. It's truly something that can only be explored through religion, and if we cut ourselves off from that source, we can truly flounder in a sea of despair when faced with pure evil with no sanctuary in sight.
There's an Irish prayer that I love: "G-d grant me the power to change what I can change, the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." We can combat evil by being as good and righteous as we can and by standing up to evil when we have the opportunity to do so, but we also need to have the serenity and the humility to accept the fact that not everything is within our power to change or, for that matter, to understand.
Discovering the nature and reason for evil, however, is not something that can be done in a laboratory. It's truly something that can only be explored through religion, and if we cut ourselves off from that source, we can truly flounder in a sea of despair when faced with pure evil with no sanctuary in sight.
There's an Irish prayer that I love: "G-d grant me the power to change what I can change, the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." We can combat evil by being as good and righteous as we can and by standing up to evil when we have the opportunity to do so, but we also need to have the serenity and the humility to accept the fact that not everything is within our power to change or, for that matter, to understand.
Judy
Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN
August 16, 2011
Cruel and Unconscionable
Some years ago I attended a trial in which my husband was expert witness for the prosecution, explaining DNA evidence, because then this was a new technology.
It was the trial of a man named, curiously, Bible, whose actions were unconscionable in terms of luring and killing a child, and it happened to be her birthday. It was such an atrocious crime that those who found the perpetrator, who did confess, were so disturbed and deeply moved, they could no longer act in law enforcement.
How do we make sense of such things? The parents, deeply religious, I believe, never lost their faith. If anything would shake faith, such atrocity would lead to this.
I believe there is another side. Because I must. And that this Soul is now in a good loving, secure, and safe place. I don't believe it's over when it's over. I am sustained by this belief which I do feel is true. I see that others have experience of what's beyond, and I look to these experiences and examine them. I have found truths here.
It was the trial of a man named, curiously, Bible, whose actions were unconscionable in terms of luring and killing a child, and it happened to be her birthday. It was such an atrocious crime that those who found the perpetrator, who did confess, were so disturbed and deeply moved, they could no longer act in law enforcement.
How do we make sense of such things? The parents, deeply religious, I believe, never lost their faith. If anything would shake faith, such atrocity would lead to this.
I believe there is another side. Because I must. And that this Soul is now in a good loving, secure, and safe place. I don't believe it's over when it's over. I am sustained by this belief which I do feel is true. I see that others have experience of what's beyond, and I look to these experiences and examine them. I have found truths here.
ruth housman
marshfield hills, ma
marshfield hills, ma
August 14, 2011
the whole picture
it could be, IF we knew the whole picture we would understand, but we don't. At this moment, right here, we have to contend with deep tragedies that have no clear explanation except for what is brutal and upsetting. Of course we question the existence or Nature of G_d at such times. It seems an inevitable consequence of deep probing for meaning when there is something so meaningless as the death of an innocent child in such a brutal way.
So if we question, maybe it's part of what we're supposed to be doing. As to G_d not responding, I think we're meant to have this dialogue and to try to ascertain, who speaks for G_d in all this. I would say, we can only reach for, the light and try hard to dispel darkness which does come to us all.
So if we question, maybe it's part of what we're supposed to be doing. As to G_d not responding, I think we're meant to have this dialogue and to try to ascertain, who speaks for G_d in all this. I would say, we can only reach for, the light and try hard to dispel darkness which does come to us all.
ruth housma
marshfield, ma
marshfield, ma
August 14, 2011
Leiby
Leiby for sure now knows why he was sent to this world for eight years and why he had to leave in such a tragic way. Because the soul has no age snd also it's understanding is limitless. Perhaps he was the soul of an old man who had to come back for eight years? And for sure Leiby has no complaints against the Holy One, blessed is He, because he sees the great wisdom and goodness in all that happened.
But I am equally certain that he has a lot of grief because of the reaction of so many people.
First, it was a big MERIT for him that there were so many prayers prayed on his behalf and such unity amongst the searchers.
And did you read his parent's statement? A beautiful statement of love and faith.
But now, for sure Leiby has so much grief, seeing the words of rebellion against G-d, the anger of people agaist their Creator, all because of him. If he could call down to us he would surely say, "Please, see all the goodness in this beautiful world! And love your G-d!
But I am equally certain that he has a lot of grief because of the reaction of so many people.
First, it was a big MERIT for him that there were so many prayers prayed on his behalf and such unity amongst the searchers.
And did you read his parent's statement? A beautiful statement of love and faith.
But now, for sure Leiby has so much grief, seeing the words of rebellion against G-d, the anger of people agaist their Creator, all because of him. If he could call down to us he would surely say, "Please, see all the goodness in this beautiful world! And love your G-d!
Shoshana
Jerualem
Jerualem
August 13, 2011
To Anonymous, Rome
I want to wish you a complete recovery, a refuah shleimah. If you would want to give me your full Hebrew name and your mother's full Hebrew name, (last name not necessary), we will pray for you.
with best wishes,
with best wishes,
Shoshana
August 12, 2011
Keep the Faith
It always troubles me when tragedies and evil deeds cause people to doubt the existence of G-d. To requote something I mentioned previously - religion is not the problem; it's the answer.
My daughter had a friend in junior high whose father was a holocaust survivor. He went from being completely frum to being an atheist, but by the time I knew him, he had come back far enough to be sending his child to the same Jewish school that I was sending mine to.
This is the reason that I made a point of stating that we don't always get what we pray for. We cannot hope to understand all of G-d's plans or why He tolerates evil. I am fully as heartsick as anyone regarding the innundation of evil that this world has suffered for the past several decades. I cannot, e.g., watch the annual replaying of the collapse of the Twin Towers, and if Achmadinajad appears on the news, I flee. But if we cut ourselves off from G-d because of this, we are cutting off our noses to spite our faces.
My daughter had a friend in junior high whose father was a holocaust survivor. He went from being completely frum to being an atheist, but by the time I knew him, he had come back far enough to be sending his child to the same Jewish school that I was sending mine to.
This is the reason that I made a point of stating that we don't always get what we pray for. We cannot hope to understand all of G-d's plans or why He tolerates evil. I am fully as heartsick as anyone regarding the innundation of evil that this world has suffered for the past several decades. I cannot, e.g., watch the annual replaying of the collapse of the Twin Towers, and if Achmadinajad appears on the news, I flee. But if we cut ourselves off from G-d because of this, we are cutting off our noses to spite our faces.
Judy
Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN
August 12, 2011
Why not now?
5,000 years ago G-d spoke and people who *chose* to listen have been waiting for His return.
How many millions of Jews have to be murdered before G-d speaks again?
Prior to AD, weren't there enough children of Jews murdered? Anne Frank wasn't enough. Lieby wasn't enough.
Where is G-d now? I believe in Him and He believes in me.
Jews believe in Now ... not only after Death. Now is when I need G-d to come forward again -- it's time! Or has His/Her time come and gone?
How many millions of Jews have to be murdered before G-d speaks again?
Prior to AD, weren't there enough children of Jews murdered? Anne Frank wasn't enough. Lieby wasn't enough.
Where is G-d now? I believe in Him and He believes in me.
Jews believe in Now ... not only after Death. Now is when I need G-d to come forward again -- it's time! Or has His/Her time come and gone?
Meira Shana
Vista, California
Vista, California
August 11, 2011
an end to what is terrible
is up to G-d not the Moshiach. Whoever G-d appoints to lead us forward is led by G-d. The Moshiach has no special power. All is mediated by what is totally Divine.
I must believe that there are many planes to existence and what is so u plain there is no mitigating what happened to this child and we must deeply mourn and work to make this world a better place. But for love and mercy to exist and my fervent belief in a G-d of love then Lieby is now in the loving arms of G- d.
I must believe that there are many planes to existence and what is so u plain there is no mitigating what happened to this child and we must deeply mourn and work to make this world a better place. But for love and mercy to exist and my fervent belief in a G-d of love then Lieby is now in the loving arms of G- d.
ruth housman
marshfield, ma
marshfield, ma
August 11, 2011
No consolation...
I was thinking last night about Leiby, and I thought how many people will still remember him. I was so upset...I don't want him to be forgotten. I want to remember him...even if it hurts.
When I look at my 22 months old and think about how a mom goes through with a child to give birth, the times she is by his side when he is sick, the first time he walks...I can just cry and think in Leiby's mom and how she is doing today.
I have been obsessed following up the last updates on his murderer's situation and I find no consolation even if he stays in jail for the rest of his life. Yes, there is a Leiby's fund to remember his beautiful soul but all I can ask for is to Moshiach to come in this very moment and to put an end to all evil so we can see Leiby again running or riding his bicycle or praying in his siddur again.
When I look at my 22 months old and think about how a mom goes through with a child to give birth, the times she is by his side when he is sick, the first time he walks...I can just cry and think in Leiby's mom and how she is doing today.
I have been obsessed following up the last updates on his murderer's situation and I find no consolation even if he stays in jail for the rest of his life. Yes, there is a Leiby's fund to remember his beautiful soul but all I can ask for is to Moshiach to come in this very moment and to put an end to all evil so we can see Leiby again running or riding his bicycle or praying in his siddur again.
Michal Sarah
New York, NY
New York, NY
August 11, 2011
G-d in our lives
Shoshana, I agree with what you said completely. I certainly have had "brain storms" and insights of various kinds. I teach Torah and, of course, hear it read in shul, and it never fails but that I get new insights on texts that I've heard or taught for many years. And, of course, serendipitous things like what you describe have happened to me, as well. That's not what I was talking about.
Those things come from G-d without question, but they are rarely in answer to our prayers. Like the gifts bestowed upon us at birth - an ear for music, a talent for drawing, intelligence - they come directly from G-d for His reasons, not ours. They are miraculous in the sense of the Modim - with us every day, but not miraculous in the sense of spectacularly supernatural, like the splitting of the sea. Those things tend to happen on a grander scale.
The point I was making is that we cannot manipulate G-d. We don't always get what we ask for. Sometimes our prayers are answered, but not always.
Those things come from G-d without question, but they are rarely in answer to our prayers. Like the gifts bestowed upon us at birth - an ear for music, a talent for drawing, intelligence - they come directly from G-d for His reasons, not ours. They are miraculous in the sense of the Modim - with us every day, but not miraculous in the sense of spectacularly supernatural, like the splitting of the sea. Those things tend to happen on a grander scale.
The point I was making is that we cannot manipulate G-d. We don't always get what we ask for. Sometimes our prayers are answered, but not always.
Judy
Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN
August 11, 2011
this story circles back to Jerusalem
G_d is constantly visibly intervening and I can prove this. I cannot speak for how others perceive their lives. Everywhere I go, everything I do, has the most astounding of visible connects. Maybe this is too scary to contemplate, or too beautiful. Life is both the agony AND the ecstasy.
If Hashem moved you, Hashem moved her, and there are invisible total ways of being moved through story. It doesn't happen, in my view, only some of the time. The sum astonishment of what is going on tells me not only IS there another story running but that it's not over when it's over. And that story, the supernal story, that involves a most cosmic visible dance in my view, will take us all Home. Yes, I expect that by some alchemy of love, I will see all who I have loved on "the other side".
AY! those who died during 911 and those who did not. I say, God is not playing dice with the universe and as difficult as it is, to embrace the paradox, it exists, on all levels. To the Wailing Wall. Jerusalem.
If Hashem moved you, Hashem moved her, and there are invisible total ways of being moved through story. It doesn't happen, in my view, only some of the time. The sum astonishment of what is going on tells me not only IS there another story running but that it's not over when it's over. And that story, the supernal story, that involves a most cosmic visible dance in my view, will take us all Home. Yes, I expect that by some alchemy of love, I will see all who I have loved on "the other side".
AY! those who died during 911 and those who did not. I say, God is not playing dice with the universe and as difficult as it is, to embrace the paradox, it exists, on all levels. To the Wailing Wall. Jerusalem.
ruth housman
marshfield hills, ma
marshfield hills, ma
August 10, 2011
Judy, July 26
Though we have free will, G-d does intervene very much in our lives and if we take notice, we will see it clearly. Did you ever get a "brain storm" just when you needed a solution? Did you ever plan to do somethng and all of a sudden change your mind and that turned out to be the best thing? This is G-d talking to you and putting the ideas into your head. Because He loves you. One time I had to meet a relative who was visiting from the States. Even though I knew the route quite well, all of a sudden I found that I had taken the bus on the wrong side of the street, going in the wrong direction. So I got off the bus, and who do I see but a woman to whom I owed money from when we had once shared a cab. And by mistake I had paid her too little and only realised it afterwards, and I didn't even know her name. And now H-shem,in His great love had me take the bus in the wrong direction and get off at the exact minute that lady would be there so I could pay this dept. His is always wth us.
Shoshana
Jerusalem, , Israel
Jerusalem, , Israel
July 27, 2011
a belief in the power of prayer
IF one believes that prayers work, one must also believe the corollary that is, for prayers to work often then others whose actions are instrumental in making this work are being moved from within, often unknowingly, to make this happen.
How does this fit into the much vaunted idea of the gift of, free will?
Beliefs beget questions and I think most people in addressing prayer do not generally think about this issue.
Since we are all storytellers, and since our stories, seem to involve Divine intent and even Promise, such as The Moshiach then the assumption that underlies such belief must somehow embrace a notion of determinism, in that Divinity is guiding all stories. This is consonant with what I am reading on Chabad. Namely we are each unique and on a mission here. All Creation is meaningful. We must act in order to fulfill that script. How much is choice. How much determined. And does it really matter since here we are and certainly the ladder of choice points toward tikkun olam
How does this fit into the much vaunted idea of the gift of, free will?
Beliefs beget questions and I think most people in addressing prayer do not generally think about this issue.
Since we are all storytellers, and since our stories, seem to involve Divine intent and even Promise, such as The Moshiach then the assumption that underlies such belief must somehow embrace a notion of determinism, in that Divinity is guiding all stories. This is consonant with what I am reading on Chabad. Namely we are each unique and on a mission here. All Creation is meaningful. We must act in order to fulfill that script. How much is choice. How much determined. And does it really matter since here we are and certainly the ladder of choice points toward tikkun olam
ruth housman
marshfield hills, ma
marshfield hills, ma
July 27, 2011
The problem v.s. the solution
I suffer from a serious illness and two complicated surgeries were necessary, it was a thunderclap.
My life changed completely.
I prayed Hashem to heal me; the manner Hashem answered to my prayers was to help me to bear my illness, He supported my family, and slowly I am getting back to normal, even if the relapse may occur anytime, I live serene with the support of Hashem.
My life changed completely.
I prayed Hashem to heal me; the manner Hashem answered to my prayers was to help me to bear my illness, He supported my family, and slowly I am getting back to normal, even if the relapse may occur anytime, I live serene with the support of Hashem.
Anonymous
Rome, Italy
Rome, Italy
July 26, 2011
The problem v.s. the solution
This discussion has gotten into some interesting and important side-tracks, one of them being how such tragedies do or should affect our realtionship with G-d. To this I have two comments:
1) Yes, G-d sometimes answers our prayers, but not always in the manner we might expect. E.G., a person suffering from a debilitating illness might pray for healing and end up dying. Does this mean G-d did not answer his/her prayers? Not necessarily. This person's time might have come (after all no one lives forever) and the respite G-d provided was the end of this person's suffering. But for the most part, I don't believe that He intervenes all that much in the life of individuals. He does, however, intervene globally. The very existence of the Jewish people stands witness to that.
2) One of the wisest things I ever heard was just a few years ago. When it comes to evil and hatred, some people think religion is the problem. In fact, it should be the answer.
1) Yes, G-d sometimes answers our prayers, but not always in the manner we might expect. E.G., a person suffering from a debilitating illness might pray for healing and end up dying. Does this mean G-d did not answer his/her prayers? Not necessarily. This person's time might have come (after all no one lives forever) and the respite G-d provided was the end of this person's suffering. But for the most part, I don't believe that He intervenes all that much in the life of individuals. He does, however, intervene globally. The very existence of the Jewish people stands witness to that.
2) One of the wisest things I ever heard was just a few years ago. When it comes to evil and hatred, some people think religion is the problem. In fact, it should be the answer.
Judy
Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN
July 26, 2011
When the Unthinkable Happens
May Hashem help Leiby obm's parents, to continue their life and to bear this hard pain.
In spite of my efforts I regret to admit that sometimes I have difficulty to accept such so painful events.
However, I know that the right path is to trust more in G-d.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
In spite of my efforts I regret to admit that sometimes I have difficulty to accept such so painful events.
However, I know that the right path is to trust more in G-d.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Yossi Mondelli
Rome, Italy
Rome, Italy
July 25, 2011
Blessed be G-d Forever
Praise our Creator forever. It stymies the accuser, the one who foments terror, fear, confusion. We will prove him wrong because we still trust Hashem. By our trust, we unite heaven and earth.
For Leiby and his family, for Baby P and his father, for Dominick Calhoun and his surviving brother Tyler, for Phraze Galvan and her surviving siblings and step-siblings and her mother, for 3 year old Skylar Seils who died fighting to protect his mother from her murderer, and for his surviving sister Heavyn, for Braylon Bishop Gonzalez and his surviving siblings who are my cousin's grandchildren, for each one of the millions of little ones whom we mourn one by one.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Blessed is the True Judge.
For Leiby and his family, for Baby P and his father, for Dominick Calhoun and his surviving brother Tyler, for Phraze Galvan and her surviving siblings and step-siblings and her mother, for 3 year old Skylar Seils who died fighting to protect his mother from her murderer, and for his surviving sister Heavyn, for Braylon Bishop Gonzalez and his surviving siblings who are my cousin's grandchildren, for each one of the millions of little ones whom we mourn one by one.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Blessed is the True Judge.
Grandma Kim
Port Huron, MI/USA
Port Huron, MI/USA
July 24, 2011
the burning question
I keep returning to this subject: so IMMENSE, bigger than the oceans, wider than the skies, so far beyond comprehension we are unable to grasp its immensity. This: before the terrible Norwegian massacre of innocents. From local to global.
Aren't we are made to ask questions?
For atheists this is the answer: there is NO G_d. For the "maybe's" the balance moves into the NO zone. For those who KNOW, there are major problems that test our sanity, because there's a Supreme paradox here. It exists. We cannot will it away.
Do we lose our religion or do we somehow transcend this? For what is G_d culpable and for what is man culpable? And what about man as container for the divine, as bearing the sparks of that Divinity? And what about All is G_d, enunciated in a most poetic way in these very pages?
We are on a path that is unclear, and yet for some there is absolute clarity of belief.
I totally believe in G_d. I have no doubt.
Such questions beseech answers. Does G_d say nothing back?
Aren't we are made to ask questions?
For atheists this is the answer: there is NO G_d. For the "maybe's" the balance moves into the NO zone. For those who KNOW, there are major problems that test our sanity, because there's a Supreme paradox here. It exists. We cannot will it away.
Do we lose our religion or do we somehow transcend this? For what is G_d culpable and for what is man culpable? And what about man as container for the divine, as bearing the sparks of that Divinity? And what about All is G_d, enunciated in a most poetic way in these very pages?
We are on a path that is unclear, and yet for some there is absolute clarity of belief.
I totally believe in G_d. I have no doubt.
Such questions beseech answers. Does G_d say nothing back?
ruth housman
marshfield hills, ma
marshfield hills, ma
July 24, 2011
euthanasia cont.
I hope there were no misunderstandings, we are required to do everything within our power to keep a sick person painfree and comfortable as possible (short of killing him).
One more thing, if we have any type of suffering- we bang our finger with a hammer, stand up and get a bang from the table, have a sore throat or broken arm, etc or worried ourselves sick if our child came home late, etc., or worse things, G-d forbid, we should train ourselves to say "it should e for an atonement - (a kaporah )" and this will take off some of our suffering in the next world, may H-shem have mercy on us.
One more thing, if we have any type of suffering- we bang our finger with a hammer, stand up and get a bang from the table, have a sore throat or broken arm, etc or worried ourselves sick if our child came home late, etc., or worse things, G-d forbid, we should train ourselves to say "it should e for an atonement - (a kaporah )" and this will take off some of our suffering in the next world, may H-shem have mercy on us.
David
July 22, 2011
Baruch Dayan Emet
I am happy for the people who can accept the answers which the rabbi and ms. Crispe offered, and be consoled by them.
But in every death of an innocent child like Leiby, or the children in Israel who were butchered by terrorists, I see the million innocent children who were murdered in horribe ways in the Shoa. Perhaps to me this seems so immediate because among the million children were my little cousins whom I was never to know. But I think it is because I am an emphat, and as I looked at Leiby's pure little face, I dreaded to think what he was feeling in his last moments. Later I learned that he was given some drugs. Better? How can anything be better at such a horrible time? And what were his poor parents going through? I couldn't sleep at night. So the believers among you, have really some kind of an answer. As it says: Ashrey hamaamin. Happy is the believer. But we, the children of Holocaust survivors, do not ask the question: Why? We know there is no answer.
But in every death of an innocent child like Leiby, or the children in Israel who were butchered by terrorists, I see the million innocent children who were murdered in horribe ways in the Shoa. Perhaps to me this seems so immediate because among the million children were my little cousins whom I was never to know. But I think it is because I am an emphat, and as I looked at Leiby's pure little face, I dreaded to think what he was feeling in his last moments. Later I learned that he was given some drugs. Better? How can anything be better at such a horrible time? And what were his poor parents going through? I couldn't sleep at night. So the believers among you, have really some kind of an answer. As it says: Ashrey hamaamin. Happy is the believer. But we, the children of Holocaust survivors, do not ask the question: Why? We know there is no answer.
Anonymous
ny
ny
July 22, 2011
Baruch Dayan Emet
Yes I believe G-d who in love creation does not allow or dissallow these actions, such as the holocaust or the murder of a fifteen year old, but has been shown that some good people stood against the all encompassing evil, because they believed that this is not what G_d would want they MADE A DECISION to do what they believed was morally right in the eyes of G-d. I wish to all of you who have suffered this gut wrenching pain an eventual peace and some form of understanding Baruch Dayan Emet
Anonymous
Perth, Australia
Perth, Australia
July 20, 2011
to Anonynous, NY.NY July 14
You're question is a good one. There are so many cases where He does interfer at the last minute and we have a miracle. But when He doesn't interfer, there is a reason that we can't understand. We are like the person who came in the middle of the story and doesn't know what happened at the beginning. There is something called "gigul", reincarnation surely there is a reason that we don't know, why Leiby's neshama had to come down for such a short time and leave in such a violent way, and why his parents were chosen to host him.
These are things that we cannot understand in this world because He does not share His secrets with us. It says that when we get into the next world,(and let's hope it will be after 120 years and not before) we will understand the beauty and justice and love and goodness in all that happened here.
These are things that we cannot understand in this world because He does not share His secrets with us. It says that when we get into the next world,(and let's hope it will be after 120 years and not before) we will understand the beauty and justice and love and goodness in all that happened here.
Shoshana
July 19, 2011
Reply to David, Houston & Hoodi, Chicago
Hoodi, I was so sorry to read about your tragedy. It would be difficult for anyone to handle, you were brave just to continue living and you gave a new perspective about mourning and a new meaning to being besides oneself..
David, your wish for Leiby's mother not to feel guilty was beautiful. I hope you continue to return to Judaism, we can do with more caring people like you.
David, your wish for Leiby's mother not to feel guilty was beautiful. I hope you continue to return to Judaism, we can do with more caring people like you.
Denise Rootenberg
Toronto, Canada
Toronto, Canada
July 19, 2011
On a beautiful night like this
I am looking out at the sunset, here in Marshfield, bands of pink light, within a swathe of baby blue. These colors remind me of the colors of babies, pink for girls and blue, for boys.
When I read about this recent unspeakable tragedy, about this young child, I was horrified, and yes, these things do shake me, and do shake me to the point of dialogue with what is Divine, to divine how it is, such unspeakable tragedies can occur.
I wonder, would I lose my religion if it were my child? G_d forbid and G_d forbid such thoughts of deepest loss.
I know what you are saying, and we all do question. Is G_d standing by, and if so, then how does G_d perform the many miracles we all witness in human terms and do write about it so many articles, here on Chabad, too.
There is a conundrum here, and I think it's not that clear, always, in the affairs of men, that G_d is a bystander, and that what we speak of as free will, is all we say it is.
Here is Jerusalem. Here is the WAILING WALL. Join me!
When I read about this recent unspeakable tragedy, about this young child, I was horrified, and yes, these things do shake me, and do shake me to the point of dialogue with what is Divine, to divine how it is, such unspeakable tragedies can occur.
I wonder, would I lose my religion if it were my child? G_d forbid and G_d forbid such thoughts of deepest loss.
I know what you are saying, and we all do question. Is G_d standing by, and if so, then how does G_d perform the many miracles we all witness in human terms and do write about it so many articles, here on Chabad, too.
There is a conundrum here, and I think it's not that clear, always, in the affairs of men, that G_d is a bystander, and that what we speak of as free will, is all we say it is.
Here is Jerusalem. Here is the WAILING WALL. Join me!
ruth housman
marshfield hills, MA
marshfield hills, MA
July 19, 2011
leiby kletzky
30 years ago my parents were senselessly stabbed to death.
All I want for months after was for that day to have never happened. That was all I could think of when the Rabbi's would ask me what do I want.
As a result I lost my marriage - and with that my family (not my children but my family was gone)
Horrific eventslike this take one out of oneself - giving truth to the phrase "beside oneself with grief". You are not yourself, you are next to yourself in a place that no one (I"YH) can even imagine.
I wish for the Kletzky family the ability to be, themselves, through this unimaginable grief.
I trust Hashem, there is always a reason, but it can be too hard to bear.
All I want for months after was for that day to have never happened. That was all I could think of when the Rabbi's would ask me what do I want.
As a result I lost my marriage - and with that my family (not my children but my family was gone)
Horrific eventslike this take one out of oneself - giving truth to the phrase "beside oneself with grief". You are not yourself, you are next to yourself in a place that no one (I"YH) can even imagine.
I wish for the Kletzky family the ability to be, themselves, through this unimaginable grief.
I trust Hashem, there is always a reason, but it can be too hard to bear.
Hoodi
Chicago
Chicago
July 19, 2011
A Tragic Loss
Sara, you are an extremely talented writer and you have written a piece on a subject that is so difficult for all of us to comprehend.
I did not know about the words that are recited when someone dies .. Barach Dayan HaEmet. Having now read them several times, I (like so many others) am having a difficult time understanding how these words make any sense within the context of such a tragic loss.
When my grandmother died (at age 90) we considered her funeral a celebration of her life and all the lives she touched. We were able to comprehend this loss.
However, the loss of young Leiby is still too fresh in our minds and hearts. As a mother, I cannot even begin to imagine the horrific loss his parents are coping with. I don't know how I would "cope" if this happened to one of my children.
May his family find peace, eventually. And may the individual responsible for this be brought to justice.
I did not know about the words that are recited when someone dies .. Barach Dayan HaEmet. Having now read them several times, I (like so many others) am having a difficult time understanding how these words make any sense within the context of such a tragic loss.
When my grandmother died (at age 90) we considered her funeral a celebration of her life and all the lives she touched. We were able to comprehend this loss.
However, the loss of young Leiby is still too fresh in our minds and hearts. As a mother, I cannot even begin to imagine the horrific loss his parents are coping with. I don't know how I would "cope" if this happened to one of my children.
May his family find peace, eventually. And may the individual responsible for this be brought to justice.
Marilyn Wattman-Feldman
Oviedo, FL
Oviedo, FL
July 19, 2011
Leiby, child of G-d
I sit and think, I sit and stare, I sit and pray.
Perhaps dear Leiby will play with the firstborn of my son - he died shortly after birth.
Leiby, you are remembered by your loved ones and by those who did not know you.
Perhaps dear Leiby will play with the firstborn of my son - he died shortly after birth.
Leiby, you are remembered by your loved ones and by those who did not know you.
Meira Shana
Vista, California
Vista, California
July 15, 2011
Love your neighbor...
I have been traumatized all this week and can't stop thinking and feeling the pain of this family. There are no words to describe this pain.All week I have been trying to find a message behind what happened or a reason or a meaning.I couldn't find anything! Today I realize something special happened with this horrible situation. There was an incredible UNITY. There were thousands of jews and non-jews that were searching for Leiby and now they are all mourning as it was their own loss. They are feeling a true love for their neighbor. Feeling in their flesh the pain that this family feels, praying for them, praying for Leiby's soul. People from different backgrounds, all together because of this horrible situation.they are for a moment ONE. Leiby's soul is with our Creator and he brought thousands of people closer and probably some will do teshuvah and more mitzvot because of him. I will do.It is still painful but his purpose is bigger than we can imagine. Baruch Dayan Ha Emet.
Anonymous
New York, New York
New York, New York
July 15, 2011
baruch dayan ha'emet
to quote the above comment
Baruh Dayan Haemet
May the soul of Leiby be elevated, may his death not be in vain, may we take upon ourselves another mizvah and may Mashiah come RIGHT NOW!!!
there are no words to comfort the family, friends, and the world. no hugs. no thoughts. we must keep our focus on our G-D. we share in the deep, deep sadness over not only the loss of an 8 year old innocent child, but also the loss of another brother jew who committed this crime. he is lost. may everyone's soul find the light & comfort at this time.
moshiach, we need you now !!
Baruh Dayan Haemet
May the soul of Leiby be elevated, may his death not be in vain, may we take upon ourselves another mizvah and may Mashiah come RIGHT NOW!!!
there are no words to comfort the family, friends, and the world. no hugs. no thoughts. we must keep our focus on our G-D. we share in the deep, deep sadness over not only the loss of an 8 year old innocent child, but also the loss of another brother jew who committed this crime. he is lost. may everyone's soul find the light & comfort at this time.
moshiach, we need you now !!
ann rayow
madeira beach, fl
chabadsp.com
madeira beach, fl
chabadsp.com
July 14, 2011
Baruch Dayan Ha Emet
Although there is no comfort for the family of this horrible tragedy This blessing is a reminder that there a more powerful entity than this murderers monster. Thank you Sara.
Sam Green
baischabad.com
baischabad.com
July 14, 2011
Double meaning
When I was 15 years old, I asked my rabbi a question that has often been asked of me as a Jewish educator. How did G-d allow the Holocaust to occur? His response was that G-d created human beings with free will and if He were to control the actions of evil people, he would negate His own creation.
I, too, had a bit of a problem with "Baruch Dayan Emet" at one time as it suggested that the deceased was judged and found wanting. I quickly got over that misconception, but remained troubled by the phrase in relation to outright evil as in the deliberate murder of innocents.
Sara, I think you and I have come to a similar understanding. The phrase has more than one meaning. When referring to a granparent who lived long and died quietly it means "This is how G-d ordered the world." Dayan Emet - a creater of justice. When it comes to evil people it means - to be crude - "He's going to get his." Dayan Emet - a true judge.
Baruch Dayan Emet.
I, too, had a bit of a problem with "Baruch Dayan Emet" at one time as it suggested that the deceased was judged and found wanting. I quickly got over that misconception, but remained troubled by the phrase in relation to outright evil as in the deliberate murder of innocents.
Sara, I think you and I have come to a similar understanding. The phrase has more than one meaning. When referring to a granparent who lived long and died quietly it means "This is how G-d ordered the world." Dayan Emet - a creater of justice. When it comes to evil people it means - to be crude - "He's going to get his." Dayan Emet - a true judge.
Baruch Dayan Emet.
Judy
Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN
July 14, 2011
True Judge
You make a very powerful case. Knowing what G-d expects of us I understand it intellectually but my heart desperately wants to know why doesn't G-d intervene between innocence and such catastrophic evil. Hashem can rescue, so why does he not? Should I be ashamed for even asking that question? Maybe.
Anonymous
NY, NY
NY, NY
July 14, 2011
Baruh Dayan Haemet
May the soul of Leiby be elevated, may his death not be in vain, may we take upon ourselves another mizvah and may Mashiah come RIGHT NOW!!!
Anonymous
hod hasharon, Israel
hod hasharon, Israel
July 14, 2011
Thank you
I am receiving the Chabad email as I just finished watching news of little Leiby's death with my own son - 11 y. old, who just came back home, 20 minutes ago... walking the 4 blocks from Summer camp....! I have to teach my own child to be independent, and yet, sadly, I have to tell him that this can happen, in our own community too (supposedly safe neighborhood). May Leiby's tragic death teach a lesson to our children, and thus may Leiby's Blessed Memory live in our children's heart and mind and soul, as they remember to be vigilent, trusting but careful. My most sincere condelences go to Leiby's family, friends and community. My warm thanks to Ms. Crispe for writing and reaching us with her heartfel message.
Elisheva Ehrenreich
Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin
Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin
July 14, 2011
mourning in morristown
thank you Sara so much for this article i am at a loss with this but your words have helped
sarah
morristown, new jersey
morristown, new jersey
July 14, 2011
Thank you
This news really hit me hard. It is sad and unfortunate that there are people out there that can do the unthinkable, especially without a motive or reason. There really is no explanation of why something like this happened. May this monster be brought to justice; Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Anonymous
Coral Springs, FL
Coral Springs, FL
July 14, 2011
Yes! Sarah, I forgot to say Thank you.
This was a very well-written article and it helped me, an "outsider", be able to offer these words in my comment with at least an understanding in my heart, to the Kletzky family.
David
Houston
Houston
July 14, 2011
Mrs. Kletzky
When this story hit the news, my heart broke for Mrs. Kletzky--for the entire Kletzky family and the community, too, of course.
I read that it was his first day to walk alone and all I could think was "Oh, please, please, please may Mrs. Kletzky know in her heart IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!
Of course it was not; everyone knows this logically, but sometimes I wonder if Jewish guilt is a boomerang. Mothers, so frequently talked about using it, often feel it more than anyone?
I do not know. I mean no disrespect by my wondering. I am an outsider. Some Ashkenazi heritage, exploring Reform Judaism. I hope what I said was not wrong in some way of which I am unaware.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. The article above said one is supposed to say Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Please know I may not fully understand this as I am at the beginning of my exploration--but I mean it with all my heart!
I read that it was his first day to walk alone and all I could think was "Oh, please, please, please may Mrs. Kletzky know in her heart IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!
Of course it was not; everyone knows this logically, but sometimes I wonder if Jewish guilt is a boomerang. Mothers, so frequently talked about using it, often feel it more than anyone?
I do not know. I mean no disrespect by my wondering. I am an outsider. Some Ashkenazi heritage, exploring Reform Judaism. I hope what I said was not wrong in some way of which I am unaware.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. The article above said one is supposed to say Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Please know I may not fully understand this as I am at the beginning of my exploration--but I mean it with all my heart!
David
Houston
Houston
July 13, 2011
As a teacher of mine once said about a tragedy in his own life, "The Aibishter is nisht a mentsch". Superficially, saying that G-d does things that are hurtful, that don't seem "mentschlich". But read again, literally, we realize that the Abishter - G-d - is NOT a man. He doesn't operate according to our expectations, and never will. The lesson of Job.
Shoshana
Morristown, nj
Morristown, nj
July 13, 2011
what about when it is in G-ds control >?
I understand your article but am having trouble wrapping my brain around the concept of G-ds control and why. Today it was confirmed that my great granddaughter has a rare fatal disease and will probably die before she is 10. G-d. I know there is a plan that we dont see, but why do the parents, grandparents and siblings have to suffer so.
Anonymous
charlotte, nc
chabadnc.org
charlotte, nc
chabadnc.org
July 13, 2011
I am Catholic and this senseless killing of Leiby Kletzky has bothered me all day.
May their family be comforted by the many out there who care.
May the killer be brought to justice.
Well written article, Sara
May their family be comforted by the many out there who care.
May the killer be brought to justice.
Well written article, Sara
Anonymous
Teaneck, NJ
Teaneck, NJ
July 13, 2011
comforting thoughts
I felt better after reading these words, since I have been tormented since hearing of this poor boy's tragedy. Also, I struggled the same way years ago when I was younger and felt the burden of the holocaust where over one and a half million lovely Jewish children perished. I decided: Hashem said to be fruitful and multiply. To do my part so that evil would not triumph, I bore as many children as Hashem would give me to replenish the world with these Jewish babies that will be raised with love and faith. Am I still grieving over those many small children taken too soon? Yes. But my heart leaps up at the laughter of the new children now, too.
Anonymous
Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles, CA
July 13, 2011
Thank you
This is so painful for all of us. Thank you for writng this.
Cindy
Jericho, NY/USA
Jericho, NY/USA
July 13, 2011
Boruch Dayan Hoemes
Excellent. Thank you. Very powerful.
Anonymous
Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles, CA
July 13, 2011
Thank you
I was having trouble coming up with something to hold on to in dealing with this unspeakable horror. Your article said something worthy of thought and reflection without soothing our pain with a pat answer. There is no pat answer... or consolation ... and I think it's better that way.
Rochel Chana Riven
Montreal, Canada
Montreal, Canada
July 13, 2011
Thank you for writing this.
All concepts I know, but it's more real when someone else says it too. On paper.
I almost felt guilty for "moving on"-for accepting that this was the Hand, indeed the Loving Hand, of our Father. It seemed more appropriate to thrash around cursing the world. But, your friend's words were a powerful and comforting reminder that G-d is running the show..so it only makes sense that most things don't make sense.
May Leiby's family -his immediate one, and all of Klal Yisroel sharing their pain - be comforted amongst the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.
I almost felt guilty for "moving on"-for accepting that this was the Hand, indeed the Loving Hand, of our Father. It seemed more appropriate to thrash around cursing the world. But, your friend's words were a powerful and comforting reminder that G-d is running the show..so it only makes sense that most things don't make sense.
May Leiby's family -his immediate one, and all of Klal Yisroel sharing their pain - be comforted amongst the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.
CM
ENGLAND
ENGLAND
July 13, 2011
Just what I needed to read
The right remarks at the right time. I really appreciate it.
Fellow Jew
Brooklyn, NY
Brooklyn, NY
July 13, 2011
Wow!
After reading this article...my mind is blown away with the Idea, that everything in life is in G-d's hands. We really do not understand this concept until something so close to home hits you. In the end all we can say," Baruch Dayan HaEmet." Beautiful article, really touched home.
Soul Searching
Coral Springs, FL
Coral Springs, FL
July 13, 2011
?
I don’t understand how this response is going to comfort anyone. Bottom line: G-d takes good away so we suffer and go against his will so he will have reason to strike. What did this 7 year old do to anyone? Why not try and kill some rapists?
Anonymous
Los Angeles, ca
Los Angeles, ca
July 13, 2011
That was very helpful. Thank you.
Amy
Rekhovot, Israel
Rekhovot, Israel
July 13, 2011
A short few years ago a good friend's son was shot to death during a home invasion. It is one of my great struggles on the path of faith. Your points, and your own issues with this, make it a much more manageable process. Thank you.
Anonymous
Houston, TX
Houston, TX
July 13, 2011
Thank you for writing this ....
Can you refer the Story you told ,
Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Yehuda
Venice , ca
Venice , ca
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